OH GOD STOP DOING THINGS.

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU
OK SO JOHN KEEPS TELLING ME TO TEXT YOU
SO HERE I AM, TEXTING YOU
HE'S LIKE TOTALLY CONVINCED YOU MIGHT BE DEAD OR SOMETHING.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU MULTIPLED BY THE POWERS OF FUCKING FOREVER
THIS IN NO WAY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME
THINKING YOU MIGHT BE DEAD OR SOMETHING.
OR LIKE GONE BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU UNABRIGED
THE ONLY REASON I MIGHT POSSIBLY GIVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST OF SHITS
ABOUT YOUR STATUS AS "ALIVE" OR "NOT FUCKING VANISHED" IS BECAUSE

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOUR SHIT
EVEN YOUR DOOMED SPRITE SELF WASN'T TOO SELF-IMPORTANT
TO RESPOND TO MY FUCKING MEMO. HE WAS TOO "COOL" FOR IT
ALL HE SAID WAS "WOW"

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FFFFFFUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU
SO WOULD IT HAVE FUCKING KILLED YOU TO MAYBE REPLY
WITH A TOTALLY "COOL" AND UNAFFECTED "WOW" TOO??????????????

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU FOR ME WASTING MY TIME ON THIS
OH WAIT! I KNOW. MAYBE I HAVE TO MAKE IT MORE YOUR "STYLE" FOR YOU TO NOTICE!


TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
THERE!
I'VE NOW BROKEN MY VERTICAL "BONESHAFT" UNTIL IT CURVES SO FUCKING MUCH
I'VE STOOPED TO YOUR LEVEL.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK
FUCK YOU IF YOU'RE EVEN LOOKING AT THIS, WHICH YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT.
YOU'RE TOO FUCKING "COOL" TO BOTHER WITH THIS SHIT
OR AT LEAST TOO FUCKING "COOL" SO YOU'LL PRETEND YOU'RE NOT BOTHERING

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: YOU
BUT I BET YOU'RE REALLY LOOKING AT THIS
YOU'RE PROBABLY FUCKING GLOATING
HERE HE IS, TEXTING ME! I'M SUCH FUCKING HOT SHIT I BET HE WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU
AND MAYBE RECONCILE A LITTLE SINCE TEREZI IS GONE
WELL FUCK YOU
THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE FOR
YOU'RE STUPID AS SHIT IF YOU THINK THAT

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: YOU FUCK
EVEN IF YOU'RE STILL HOLDING IT ABOVE ME THAT YOU NOTICED SHE WAS GONE FIRST
YOU'RE JOHN AND JADE'S FRIEND SO
MAYBE I SHOULD TRY TO NOTICE SHIT LIKE
IF YOU'RE STILL AROUND TOO????????

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: DUDE COME ON
COME OFF OF IT.
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: JUST REPLY
FUCK YOU

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: YOU ASSHOLE
SAY SOMETHING.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??????
DON'T BE A SMARTASS AND JUST REPLY "SOMETHING" BECAUSE THAT'D BE SOOOOOOOO COOL

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: OK I TAKE THAT BACK
OR YOU CAN BE A SMARTASS AND JUST TYPE "SOMETHING"

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: PLEASE
WHATEVER YOU WANT

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: LOOK I'LL EVEN MAKE IT EASY
I MEAN I GRANTED KEYSMASHING PRIVILEGES TO TAVROS SO I GUESS YOU CAN JUST SMASH A COUPLE TIMES TO LET ME KNOW YOU'RE OK TOO

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: SHIT
DUDE

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: GOD
DAMMIT.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: SECRET ANSWER TO THE MESSAGE WITHIN: EVERYTHING!
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???????????????????

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOUR FUCKING "SHADES"
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: YOUR TALENT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY
YOU MIGHT BE A BETTER ARTIST THAN ME BUT YOU'RE A FAR FUCKING CRY FROM "COOL"

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: DAMMIT
I'M NOT GOING OVER THERE.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: AUGH
BUT SERIOUSLY COME ON

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: WHAT AM I EVEN DOING
THAT FUCKING RABBIT THING FREAKS ME OUT

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: EGBERT STOP LAUGHING THIS IS FUCKING SERIOUS
IT GIVES ME A BAD FEELING

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK.
DUDE

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: DUDE
*DUDE*

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: STOP BEING SUCH A DOUCHE
FUCK YOU

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: SECRET ANSWER # 2: I DON'T!
DON'T FUCKING SAY ANYTHING THEN, SEE IF I FUCKING CARE.

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: OH GOD
WOULD IT KILL YOU JUST TO REPLY AT ALL?????????????

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: ADSFKADKLFJALDKFJ SLDKJF ALKSJF LAKSJDF
JESUS HUMAN CHRIST

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU AGAIN
STRIDER

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: CONGRATULATIONS ON PISSING ME OFF
YOU COMPLETELY INSUFFERABLE PRICK

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK
FORGET IT

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT.
IF YOU GET THE TIME MAYBE JUST LET ME KNOW OK??????????????????????

Comments

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCK YOU VERSION SYMPHONY 6
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE FOR IGNORING ME EARLIER.
FUCK YOU.
NOW DON'T TEXT ME AGAIN UNTIL THREE DAYS FROM NOW, OK???

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: what
so youre literally "troll jegus"
rising from the dead in 3 days
or maybe its when ill rise from the toilet

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: WHAT THE FUCK???
THIS JUST PISSES ME OFF EVEN MORE. IT PROVES YOU REALLY DIDN'T READ MY MEMO
WHERE I MADE POLITE AND COMPLETELY FUCKING REASONABLE MANDATORY DEMANDS.

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: FUCKING SAVE THIS AND RE-READ IT UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND.
OK SO TEXTING ME TO LET ME KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE EVERY DAY WOULD JUST BE ANNOYING.
TEXTING EVERY OTHER DAY IS EXTREMELY EXCESSIVE.
TEXTING EVERY THREE DAYS SEEMS PRETTY REASONABLE TO ME.

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.
I DECIDED IT ON MY OWN WITHOUT ANY INPUT FROM PAST ME OR FUTURE ME
BUT I THINK THEY'D AGREE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA HERE.

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: huh
why am i reporting in
so can keep track of who else weve lost?
is that it

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: ...
whyre you in charge

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: re: huh
YEAH.

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: AND STOP TRYING TO START SHIT WITH ME.
FUCK YOU, IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO'S "IN CHARGE"
JUST DO WHAT I'VE ASKED, OK????

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: re: re: huh
ok

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: re: AND STOP TRYING TO STA...
its not even that man
just
why are you so panicked
you cant stop it

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: re: re: re: huh
HUH.
WAIT, SO ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO LISTEN????

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: re: re: AND STOP TRYING T...
NO SHIT. I KNOW.
IT'S JUST I'M FUCKING SICK OF NOT NOTICING.
IT HAPPENS SO FAST, SO LIKE EVERY THREE DAYS SEEMS PRETTY GOOD.
LIKE I SHOULD NOTICE BY THEN IF NOBODY'S SAID ANYTHING.

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: re: re: re: AND STOP TRY...
but it doesnt matter
by the time you realize they havent replied its too late
youre making yourself sick dude

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT:
all youre going to have is a bunch of texts from people who cant ever send you another one
and its gonna drag you down

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: also
youre just gonna scream about it to the rest of us as soon as you find out so save everybody the indigestion and just stop now before it gets worse
ok
this island doesnt have enough pepto for all of us

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: re: also
FUCK YOU. I'M NOT MAKING MYSELF SICK.
SO WHAT IF I HAVE A BUNCH OF MESSAGES FROM A BUNCH OF IDIOTS WHO CAN'T SEND ME ANOTHER ONE.
HOW IS THAT ANY FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM THE MEMOS.

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: AND ANOTHER THING
STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW ME.
ALL YOU KNOW IS THE FECAL MATTER FROM YOUR RIDICULOUS EXCUSE FROM EARLIER

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: re: AND ANOTHER THING
so youre saying that i do, in fact, know shit
as opposed to not knowing shit

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: OH YEAH AND
IF I GET SICK AT ALL
IT'LL BE ME GETTING SICK OF YOU AND EVERY OTHER ASSHOLE'S SHIT.

[ihateyouetc]

TO: DAVE (TG)
SUBJECT: WHATEVER.
BUT THANKS FOR BOTHERING TO SAY ALL THAT I GUESS.

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: re: re: also
youre holding onto the past like ampora holds onto his junk every morning
thats to say
super fucking tight

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: re: WHATEVER
just try not to totally lose it ok

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: but
dont pretend like its not hard for me too
like fuckin losing your neighbor right in the middle of playing a game
thats pretty fucking weird

[clockrocket]

TO: KARKAT (CG)
SUBJECT: because
one second hes on your couch
the next youre alone
fucking weird sir