[001] audio;

[rule_britannia]

Well, this is just bloody brilliant.

Unless they’re lying. They could be lying. I don’t feel any different. I certainly don’t feel more sodding real than I did before… but this isn’t London. Magic, maybe? Could be. Maybe I’m dreaming. Pinching doesn’t work though so it must be one hell of a good---… Maybe I’m dead? Oh, bloody hell, what if I am dead? How the bloody fuck did that happen?!

No, no… Calm down, Arthur…

… Thinking about it, I suppose I should have expected it, if I’m honest, but who the bloody hell is going to entertain for a moment the idea that they’re fictional? The world’s always felt perfectly real to me and I… ah, bollocks… I’m not dealing with this very well...

...

I need a drink.

Comments

[heartofbakerst]

Blimey. There certainly seem to be a lot of Britons here of late.

May as well call it "Little England".

Dr. John Watson. It's a pleasure.

[rule_britannia]

Little England... Hah, that's a laugh...

Next you'll be telling me that Sherlock Holmes is here, too.

[heartofbakerst]

Should I not, then?

[rule_britannia]

... At this point I'd rather you didn't. I'll only embarrass myself.

I'm a rather big fan of his.

[But oh god he cannot take fanboying right now]

[heartofbakerst]

I was actually surprised to find that a lot of people here were, even though not one of them has read my blog.

It's hard to keep things straight with realising that you're from a series of stories, and my own life and all that.


...you haven't read my blog, have you?

[rule_britannia]

... Would saying that I agree with you regarding unmanned checkout machines answer that question?

[heartofbakerst]

Actually, I think it does.

Bloody Chip and PIN machines never work right.

[rule_britannia]

And if it isn't that, there's an unexpected item in the bagging area. Every single bloody time!

[heartofbakerst]

I know! Even when there's nothing there! Or you've put something in too fast for it to like. Or you look at the bloody thing wrong.

Finally, someone who understands. Sherlock could take a lesson.

Sorry, I don't think I caught your name?

[rule_britannia]

And heaven forbid there be anyone around to help you when you need it.

Ah, I beg your pardon. My name is Arthur Kirkland.

[heartofbakerst]

Pleased to meet you.

So how are you adjusting so far?

[rule_britannia]

Ah.. I'm not entirely certain. I think I'm still in shock.

[heartofbakerst]

It takes a little bit to get over, but the sooner you can find some normalcy, the better.

[rule_britannia]

Aha, 'normalcy'... What on Earth is normal about this?

[worldsonly]

Maybe you should consider not introducing yourself anymore.

[heartofbakerst]

Oh, like you don't enjoy the attention.

[worldsonly]

[ consulting five year old avoidance skills ]

Well, since you've made up your mind.

[heartofbakerst]

I've made up my mind to be polite. Despite the fact that everyone just asks about you anyway, I hardly see how my introducing myself is a problem.