[video]

[stretchy_pants]

[Here on your screen appears the image of a very ordinary-looking thirty-something man who has seemingly arrived in New Moore the traditional way--via the hospital. He's the type of guy you'd see on the street and not even give a second glance. A pair of wire-frame glasses are perched upon his nose, and there is a touch of grey visible at his temples. He is also naked, but luckily you the viewer cannot see anything lower than his chest. Assless hospital gowns do not survive the transformation as well as pants, he has found.]

[After taking a few moments to familiarise himself with the webcam software, he glances up. There is a bone-deep exhaustion in his expression and his eyes hold the sort of weariness one might expect to see in a man twice his age. The room around him, partly visible on the screen, is an absolute wreck. Those familiar with Bruce Banner may recognise the signs of post-Hulking.]

[Unfortunately, when he had woken up the first time here in this strange medical facility and they'd told him about being a fictional character, he had automatically assumed the worst: that someone had finally succeeded in capturing him. The other guy had made an unsuccessful attempt at breaking out, which still has Bruce a bit confused but only proves to him that whoever has kidnapped him has done their homework. It makes more sense than what the hospital staff is telling him. Because no matter what good deeds he may accomplish, everyone will always be after the Hulk in the end. He should have known better than to ever have thought that maybe he could return to a normal life. Now he's stuck in this "hospital," because they won't let him leave. They tell him he's dangerous.]

[No shit.]

I have no idea what's going on here, or what kind of lie I'm being fed about this "fictional" business. It's a pretty flimsy cover-up, if you ask me... so why don't you just come out and say it? Who are you working for and what do you want with me? [His voice, like his expression, is tired. Tightly controlled. Suspicious.] You might think you have the upper hand here, but you're messing with something you can't control. That isn't a threat. It's a promise

Comments

[billionairephilanthropist]

The gang's nearly all here. Have they started poking you with needles yet?

[stretchy_pants]

[Well... that is a voice he definitely didn't think he'd be hearing. Give him a moment to start drawing some conclusions..]

These people caught the rest of you as well...? [A nervous laugh.] Or should I dare to hope that you're talking about a rescue mission?

[billionairephilanthropist]

Haven't seen point break, yet. But the rest of the gang is here. Guess you were a bit harder to track down than the rest of us. Maybe they haven't quite figured out how to get into Asgard.

Welcome to the party. But if you need a rescue mission from the hospital, I can arrange that.

Think they're still sore about the windows I broke last time around?

[stretchy_pants]

You managed to break a window in this place? [He turns to take a look around the room.] Well, I don't have windows, and the walls are either.... other guy-proof, or they managed to subdue him, or.... I have no idea. I don't remember what happened. But if you can't get me out of here, he might have to try again.

[originalavenger]

Doctor Banner. Don't worry, we'll get you out.

[ontheropes]

Ah, so this is Doc Banner? Yeah don't worry, we've got you covered.

[originalavenger]

It is. Doctor, I want to introduce Bucky Barnes, my best friend.

[stretchy_pants]

Glad to see you again, Captain. And it's good to meet you, Bucky. Are you... with SHIELD?

[A little confused. How has Steve made a best friend so soon after being dethawed?]

[mindoirsurvivor]

Doctor Banner. Chief Shepard, New Moore Police. I can't vouch for the intentions of local government -- I'm an involuntary immigrant myself -- but I can assure you your appearance is nothing personal. The island has grabbed hundreds of people in the last two years, seemingly at random.

Rogers gave me a briefing on your situation. I've got no direct say over hospital policy, but they need my services pretty badly at the moment, so I'll lean on them to get you out. I'm told you have a temper problem, but it's under control?

[stretchy_pants]

I don't think government can vouch for its own intentions most of the time... [Ummm. Okay. What's this.] The island "grabbed" people? I don't understand.

But... er... you could say that. I've had it under control for a while now. [He just panicked when he realised that he's in a facility where people will most likely be trying to dissect him is all.]

[mindoirsurvivor]

We've got over a hundred people on this island who don't belong here -- allegedly fictional people, from different worlds, sometimes different species. There's no sign any of us were specifically, individually targeted.

I've had a word with the hospital director. If you'll sit through the rest of the orientation material, they'll have you out in time for dinner. New arrivals are being put up in hotel rooms for now, but something a bit more spacious will be assigned to you as soon as possible.

Welcome to New Moore, Doctor.

[stretchy_pants]

[There is a very long moment of silence as he processes all of that and picks it apart. It's not... so hard to believe, what with the things he's seen recently. Aliens and dimensional portals and hard evidence of the existence of different realms. The only thing he can't swallow is the fictional part, really, and that leaves him with a good deal of suspicion.]

...All right. But if they bring out the scalpels, I don't think the other guy will sit by and listen to... "orientation material."

[bowsbeforehoes]

Banner! Now all we need is Thor and we've got ourselves a party.

[stretchy_pants]

Agent Barton. I don't think being abducted by people who probably want to dissect me is much of a party...

[bowsbeforehoes]

Trust me, we wouldn't let that happen.

[stretchy_pants]

That's reassuring.

[what are teammates.]

[no really. what are they.]

[bagofcats]

It seems as if they will take anyone.

[ said from someplace very, very far away. ]

[stretchy_pants]

[He frowns deeply.]

I can see that.

[bagofcats]

[ tch. ignoring that. ]

Tell me, Banner, is there anyone that wants you for you? Or do they all wish for the monster instead?

[deadcool]

Even goat men!

[bagofcats]

Excuse you?

[deadcool]

I still haven't forgiven you for breaking my everything. That really hurt. I thought we had something special.

Do you really want to hurt me?

Really?

I mean I know I make a few harmless cracks about your weight. and your hair. and your skin. and your fashion sense. and your girlfriend. But it's all in good fun.

Can't we all just get along?

[stretchy_pants]

....I don't think we've met, but I'm sorry if I've broken something of yours. [He has accidentally broken many people's possessions....]

[And now, he frowns slightly. HEY LEAVE BETTY OUT OF THIS she's not even his girlfriend anymore because that's what happens when you don't write for over a year]

[30languagesofbeer]

[Lucky? You mean unlucky, Zinda wanted to take a peek at that--]

Aw, Sugar, that's what we all say when we get here. Trust me, cause I was hootin' an' hollerin' an' about to shoot off all my guns when I got here. ...Cept for the part where they didn' let me keep them.

[stretchy_pants]

[DKfjskfdkf whyyyy]

...They took away your weapons? [He snorts lightly.] No wonder they're keeping me here, then.