two | need a job done?

[thneed]

Hello, New Moore. [ he's singing. prepare yourselves. ]

Guess what? I've got some awesome things in store.

There I was with a guitar I had begun to fix and a socks decorated with a rabbit that steals Trix... when I came up with an opportunity for you-- Yes, you! See, I am an inventor and quite the handyman. Oh, I'm quite skilled if I do say so.

I would like to offer to do various things you need me to do!
It's so I can get funding for revolutionary-inventions that I will make with the best intentions. They'll be awesome and great and so worth the wait.

So! Need some work done? Hire me! You can't go wrong, just you see! I can repair, paint your apartment- give it some flair, make you a hat, babysit the cat, and write you a jingle! A jingle that'll get you a date so you won't be single!

I can also cook! Don't need a book. Breakfast foods that give good moods, lunch so good - eat it all, you would! And the dinner from your wishes. I'll also do the dishes.
And believe me when I say I can bake. You'll never have a more amazingest cake.

For any task, all I ask is payment of small size so an investment in this will be quite wise! Just a couple of dollars-- about enough to buy dog collars.

If you need nothing done but you think I'm good fun, you can donate on your own to throw me a bone.

Comments

[thneed]

Why? You don't even know what it is.

Socks could be puppets but people want socks! Don't drop it because of that.

[callbacks]

is it a sock
like a giant sock that you could stuff a breadbox in

[thneed]

It could be used as a sock that you could stuff a breadbox in.

[callbacks]

[...]

is it a cozy

[thneed]

Yes! Incredibly so.

[callbacks]

no not a
whatever never mind
so its like a clothing thing

[thneed]

Oh wait like a teacozy? Sorry. --It can be one of those. That can be a free question.

Kinda.

[callbacks]

uh
well its a cloth thing at least right

[thneed]

Yes, that would be right.

[callbacks]

some kind of hollow multipurpose cloth thing that you can wear or chuck a breadbox into
does it come in red

[thneed]

You can do more than that but yeah close enough.
And yes.

[callbacks]

could you fit a whole person in one
like a snuggly body bag

[thneed]

Yes, you can. ...I'd recommend against using it as a body bag though. That's not really a positive thing to associate my product with.

Sleeping bags on the other hand are perfectly fine.

[callbacks]

oh wait hold that thought
you make stuff with cloth
maybe ive got a job for you after all

[thneed]

Oh! You do? What is it?

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[callbacks]

can you make something out of velvet
or plush i dont know what the actual difference is

Filtered.

[thneed]

Velvet is this tufted fabric with evenly distributed threads in a short pile so it has a certain smooth feel and plush is a textile with the same cut but it's less dense and usually silk or cotton or with cotton backing and--- ...you probably don't really care. I could make something out of those.

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[callbacks]

could you whip up a purple bean bag chair out of one of those
i think i told her id make it velvet

Filtered.

[thneed]

Yeah. No problem at all. I'll do a velvet one and if whoever you needed it for doesn't like the feel of it then we'll do another one in more of a plush.

How big do you need it?

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[callbacks]

shes not that big
i guess she might still be growing but shes a little littler than me
so like
i dunno three and a half feet across?
how does that sound

Filtered.

[thneed]

A-okay. I can get on it right now if you want as soon as we negotiate payment.

Filtered.

[callbacks]

awesome
i was saving up for some gear but then i got my turntables home delivered for good behavior i guess so ive got some change to spare

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[thneed]

$16.98 for the beanbag, a red thneed, and delivery. Yup.

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[callbacks]

a red what

Filtered.

[thneed]

Thneed. It's my revolutionary product!