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So this place can work up the energy to "magically kidnap" an increasing amount of people, but no one has the decency to commit a good locked-room homicide? A really intricate bank robbery? At this point, I'll take another bloody hound.

Oh, but I would like to note that while you aren't as blunderingly obvious as most tails, you've not gone unnoticed. It was a bit clever, keeping tabs on John instead of myself, but if you're not going to answer back to me with that then kindly remove him from your rotation.

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No offense, Mr. Holmes. Watching you gives me a twenty-eight percent increase in my reaction time to unreported crimes. You didn't seem likely to text me if you found a lead.

Please don't break my cameras. I'm working on a tight budget.

I'm delighted to learn I'm so helpful.

Maybe I can return the favor. I've got eyes all over. And information from at least two sources the police don't pay attention to. If you don't object to being watched, or better, actually sharing data, I think we could help one another out.

I'll be honest. With Shirogane released, there are, generously, only five or six people on this island who are as smart or smarter than I am. You're at the head of the list, and the only one with a focus on criminology. I'd love to work with you, Mr. Holmes. I would have approached you directly, but I value my anonymity and I don't think it would last longer than sixty seconds face to face, if you were having a slow day.

I'm sure something will come up if you're patient, Sherlock.

And what the hell are you talking about? "Tails"? What are you going on about?

THAT'S NOT SOON ENOUGH.

Isn't there something, oh, I don't know, bigger to be looking at then boring closed-room murders? You practically solve those in your sleep.

Ugh, metaverse in which every possible universe that could exist does exist. Yes, that means probably there is a dimension where James Bond is ruthlessly violating the laws of physics, probability, and taste, as well as a dimension where the idiots on Skins are running rampant across England. Most likely theory when taking in all available data, thus, closed. Frankly, I'd be happy to let Mycroft deal with the government here.

But... how's it all work, then? How do we get out?

The people in control of the island most likely have access to advanced and probably alien technology that allows them to warp through different realities at will. Like I said, government conspiracies are Mycroft's area.