[Audio]

[coimiceoir]

[By now everyone's familiar with the crying sounds going on in the background, and even Aisling is sounding a bit frazzled and impatient.]

I can't get anything done - and there is much to do before Samhain. I'm no mother, but even so--

Comments

[audio]

[chronosexual]

Is everything okay, Aisling? Anything I can do to help?

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

If it would stop crying-! It can't keep up, it can't tell me what it wants, it's not even alive! Why would someone want this?

[audio]

[chronosexual]

Aw, did you get one of those babies? But you're not even in school so how did you get one?

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

I told him I didn't know what he was talking about. He kept following me until I took it.

[sunflowersister]

Oh dear.

[Audio]

[coimiceoir]

I don't know what it wants! How does it want anything, anyway?

[Audio] we'll just pretend this was the same day...

[coimiceoir]

And I haven't been able to find any wild turnips. I don't think they're supposed to grow well in this heat.

[audio]

[sunflowersister]

Well, t's a bit hard to explain, they're not really alive, so they don't really want anything -- they follow a sort of programming so they're set to behave like babies do when they want something. So you just go through the things that regular babies need to calm them down and eventually one of them works! I can help if you like...

Oh, turnips! No, I don't think they grow wild very well here, but I've found a little market that has some lovely fresh vegetables if you want me to bring you a few? It's a bit far from your forest, I'm afraid.

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

I will come quickly. [She is so relieved. You have no idea.]

Are the turnips large enough to hollow out and place a candle in? I should like eight, but more would be better... It's harder to plan so far from home.

[audio]

[themuse]

[She's trying to hide the fact that she's laughing.]

Have you tried feeding it? Assuming it came with one of those bottles.

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

[Aisling's just exasperated, so she's going to ignore Kate's mirth.]

And holding it! And singing to it!

[audio]

[themuse]

Have you changed it?

[... do robot babies need changed?]

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

[There's a pause while Aisling thinks this over, the doll screaming in the background.]

No... but I don't know that spell. What would I change it into?

[thneed]

You gotta check the basics for why it's crying. It's either hungry, sleepy, bored, dirty, or actually hurt.

[Audio]

[coimiceoir]

But it can't be hungry or sleepy or bored or hurt! ...Dirty maybe, but only if you drop it in the mud.

[audio]

[thneed]

Or it poops.

It can be all those things. It's a baby. ...er- Imitation baby. Still baby though. The one I got needs food and stuff.

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

It's mouth doesn't open! How can it eat?

[audio]

[maiditoutalive]

What's Samhain? Do you need help?

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

The festival for the beginning of winter? The remembrance of the dead? Guises, and asking blessings of the gods? Has everyone forgotten that as well?

I'll be fine, if this thing stops screaming long enough.

[audio]

[maiditoutalive]

You can't forget what you don't know in the first place, but I'm willing to hear all about it if you want to tell me.

It doesn't ever stop screaming. That's the problem.

[audio]

[coimiceoir]

[There's a short baby-shattered not-silence in which you can practically hear her thinking that your education is severely lacking.]

It's the night that those who have gone before can come back to the living. We hold a feast in their honor, and if they come, they'll be welcome. The livestock are blessed, and boons asked of the gods... You must protect yourself against the anger of any hostile spirits, but only if you've made enemies who've passed on. There is food, and drink, and fun, and it lasts till daybreak. You've never celebrated Samhain?

....Never? Not ever?

[gottagofast]

Hey!! What the hell are you doing with Molly?!

[Audio]

[coimiceoir]

Trying to make it stop crying!

Re: [Audio]

[gottagofast]

Is she hungry?? Does she need a new diaper? Are you holding her right I bet you're not even holding her right. I bet you're diapering her with leaves.

[Audio]

[coimiceoir]

If you're so worried about it, come and fetch it!