thoughtformed | [audio, backdated to sunday]

[Really, if he didn't know any better, he might very well mistake Loki for just another kid hanging around the ice cream parlor. He recognises him, though, and approaches with his hands in the pockets of his jacket.]

Hey. [He inclines his head toward the counter.] Order whatever you'd like. I'm buying.

You're truly a saint among men.

[and that's all he says before he orders six scoops (of varying flavors) covered in a variety of ridiculous toppings, including jellybeans, chocolate chips, marshmallows, oreo pieces, strawberries, caramel and chocolate sauce, fruit loops, mochi, gummy bears, jellies and every color sprinkle imaginable in different sizes, including dinosaurs and circus animals. he also gets three chocolate chip cookies, one of which he sticks in his mouth as Bruce so graciously pays for his outrageous ice cream meal.

he seems pretty easily satisfied with it. and he's sitting down outside in the tropical heat to shove it down, scooping ice cream into his mouth.]

Ah, the wonders of Midgard in the form of frozen cream. You have my thanks.

I.. thanks?

[Well that's certainly a new one, even if Loki is joking. Still, it doesn't stop his eyebrows from arching momentarily before he just looks entirely amused at the amount of ice cream and toppings going into Loki's dish. Bruce's own selection is much less impressive--a small chocolate peanut butter sundae. He follows Loki outside and takes a seat across from him, still wearing an expression of amusement.]

You're welcome, but if you make yourself sick, you've only got yourself to blame. [He's mostly kidding, if the crooked smile is anything to go by.]

Are you speaking of the candy incident? That won't be repeated. Not yet.

[he unabashedly begins to shovel ice cream into his mouth, looking as pleased as a kid on a snow day. coincidentally it's mostly toppings when he does it.]

You're feeling better. Frozen cream makes a lot better.

No, but I'd venture to say most of that is candy.

[He gestures toward Loki's mountain of ice cream and toppings with his spoon.

Offering a slight shrug in response to the observation, he takes a (non shoveling) bite of his own frozen cream.]

A bit.. yes. [It's like a load that he never even knew was there has been removed from his shoulders... Aside from what he's learnt about his father. But that's just something he does his best to not think about.] Thank you, by the way. For.. being there.

You shouldn't be thanking me, not yet. I wasn't really much help, was I?

[and he devours another spoonful of ice cream, and then another. He does two more the same before he reaches into his pocket, chewing on a spoonful of jelly beans he had put in his mouth. when he holds up his hand again there's a flash drive hanging from his finger by a bird keychain.]

Except for this.

Some people can hardly stand to be in the same room as me on a good day.

[He shrugs like it is no big deal. Either Loki was there to see the spectacle and gain intel, or he's very brave. Or he has faith, which is something Bruce has been slowly getting used to ever since SHIELD dragged him out of India.

Peering curiously at the flash drive, and then the bird keychain.]

And what is this?

[he holds up his hand, as if he's about to give some grand explanation. instead he says, simply:]

It's you. All of you.

If you weren't aware, I captured the whole event on my phone. The contraption has quite the video feature, and enough battery to record ten, fifteen minutes at a time.

[As he begins to reach for it, his hand stops and he goes very still. If Bruce were less capable of controlling his anger, the other customers in the ice cream parlor might have been in for quite the scene. As it is, the only evidence that he is displeased is in the tightening of his lips and the very slight narrowing of his eyes.]

You recorded that? Why?

[for the first time he drops his spoon, but its into an empty cup. he meets his gaze without fear. even if it's there, he doesn't show it.]

If there's something terrible inside you, then you should remember your triumph over it.

[After a long moment of silence as he works to wrestle his anger back into that corner of his mind where it dwells, Bruce sighs and holds his hand out for the drive. Even if he has no intention of keeping it at the moment, he'd rather be the one to destroy it so that he knows it's been done.]

I can appreciate that.. and something tells me you can, too. [He doesn't look away as he searches for any evidence either supporting or disproving that theory, and then adds] ....But this is.. private. Too many people already know about me.

[he drops it in his palm. it's hard to see much of anything in his green eyes. his Evil-Self had said he had seen sorrow, others hope. to him, he was just Loki.]

Everyone knows now, and it puts you in a place of responsibility. Your friends are there as well, it's far more inspiring than you think. When you observe it from the outside, it takes on a different light.

I had this responsibility long before I ended up here. They just didn't know what I've been protecting them from.

[His gaze falls to the object in his hand, and he curls his fingers around it.]

Are there any other copies?

[of course he'd ask that. this is Loki he's dealing with, after all.]

The copy is yours.

[and he grows more grave again, but the manner of his words are less condescending and more understanding.]

I do. I know what you believe you are protecting them from, but if that force is to be let loose upon this island that your efforts of protection are for naught. You're just causing yourself more problems by thinking that there's somewhere on this island you can go to stop it.

[Loki taps the object in his hand.]

I believe this is the protection you seek. A testament of your will.

Okay, but what about the original? Is it still on your phone?

[He'd ask that no matter who he was dealing with, to be honest.]

I know there's nowhere I can go, here... SHIELD found me even when I had multiple continents to use to my advantage. [He doubts Tony would let him move out of the tower again, anyway, but he doesn't bring that up. He goes back to his ice cream, pushing it around with his spoon after he slips the flash drive into his shirt pocket.]

..Yeah. In the long run, it's going to come down to control. [a shrug.] If I can fine-tune the control I have over it.. well, it'd be better for everyone.

As I've said, the copy is yours.

[Loki brings his knees up on the chair, hanging his arms over them.]

Control is lost in chaos, and it may not do much for you. What it comes down to is something more abstract.

.....Just make sure nobody else sees it then...

[Way to not answer his question. Twice.]

This entire island is chaos. If I get taken by surprise, nothing's going to stop it from taking over, unless I can learn to fight it and bring it out on my own terms.

You can't answer chaos with more control. You did something there that was different, you had to succumb to it before it became malleable.

I can't succumb to it, Loki. Have you ever seen what it---

[And here, he glances around at the other customers. Nobody seems to be paying them any mind, but he lowers his voice, anyway.]

--What the Hulk does, when it's beyond anybody's control and loose in a city? That is chaos. Do you think that's a better answer; meeting chaos with chaos?

Yes.

Change is chaos, and to utilize its ability to must succumb to it. It's not about becoming the monster inside of you, it's allowing yourself to open to the idea of unpredictability. It's just as you did there, when you faced yourself. You did as the situation called without control. It was your sheer force of will. Chaos will never be something you can control, and once you realize it, it becomes your ally.

You don't understand... What you're talking about is.. much easier said than done. It's almost killed my friends more than once--every good thing it's done is balanced by destruction, and my will isn't enough to keep it from hurting people when it gets past me.

I believe it is.

[his voice is very earnest. and he doesn't hesitate when he speaks again.]

There will always be chaos. Change is chaos, and it makes us rethink what we're taught, and the philosophies that we've lived by.

[he holds up a finger, looking proud.]

But that change only becomes chaos when we fight it. I'm not telling you to let the Hulk go, Mister Banner, I'm saying that to adapt is to remember that you have no control. My Other-Self was the same, except he believed that control was the solution, and chaos could come from nefarious, calculating plans. [he closes an eye and looks a bit dubious at his own words, and then snorts and continues with a smile.] I don't believe that. I believe in change. Change is good. Moments that draw heavy emotions are the ones inwhich we believe we lose that control, but if we succumb to the idea and align ourselves with that change, we ride with the chaos.

And then without that anger, there's no Hulk, only Bruce Banner in chaos.

...Right. But asserting my will is still a form of control. [He sits back a little, looking as if he's debating whether to continue along this train of thought.] If you say change is the solution.. adaptation to chaos... [a shake of his head.] The anger will still be there. It's who I am, and it's what defines the Hulk.

[Something else catches his interest, though. He nudges his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looks curiously at Loki. This whole time, he's been trying to make sense of this boy, if there is sense to be made of his reasons for seeming to know so much. The mention of Loki's "Other-Self" provides opportunity to perhaps steer the conversation in that direction.]

Are there two Lokis? You, and the one who wanted to take Earth?

Edited 2012-12-28 05:45 (UTC)

But in the end maybe it will be unneeded if left unprovoked.

[well, he got through to him in his own sort of way, didn't he. it was a little victory. Loki sits cross-legged on the seat, regarding him with quirky smile.]

My Evil-Self and I are somewhat of the same. Would you like to talk about this? It's a long, boring story.

[audio, backdated to sunday]

Action!

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holy crap late. sorryyy ;A;

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