Listen up!

[notjohnsmith]

 Okay!  So, everyone who's lost their memories, report in here for orientation!  Just as soon as we figure out what information we can trust and what kinds of evidence we can piece together, we'll organize a plan of attack!

There's a UFO on one side of town, so maybe we've all been abducted by aliens, but it could also just be a red herring.  Apparently there are a bunch of suspicious doctors telling people they're not real, too, so it could also be a government brainwashing plot or some sort of private sector terrorist spy scheme!  The important thing is, right now, anyone who has their memories might have some kind of agenda and you'd never know!  So don't trust anything!  There could even be plants among the people with memory loss set to lead us the wrong way.  Even personal possessions could have been replaced with misleading data!

Anyway, if we all stick together and keep our eyes open, we should be able to locate whatever secret base the people running this are using, and raid it for whatever they're hiding from us!  

No time to waste!

Comments

[notjohnsmith]

Seriously, what kind of a name is Kyon?

[themelancholyof]

How should I know, I'm not the one who gave it to you!!

[notjohnsmith]

Even assuming I was this guy, why do you need an 'underling' so badly? This is the twenty-first century and someone with your energy should be able to climb any mountain on your own! In a worst case scenario, just get your boyfriend to help you out.

No, I'm afraid your story's just not believable.

[themelancholyof]

I don't have a boyfriend!

[notjohnsmith]

Girlfriend, then?

[themelancholyof]

Ugh, you were being a lot more interesting when you were talking about the conspiracy thing.

[notjohnsmith]

That's why I'm saying your motive has to be to distract me. I'm close to something!

[themelancholyof]

The only thing you're close to is the end of my patience!!

And this stupid island, too!!

[notjohnsmith]

I'm close to the island? Or the island is close to the end of your patience?

Either one seems more or less self-evident.

[themelancholyof]

Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll get close to the end of the island!!!

AND FALL OFF!!!!!!!!!!

[themelancholyof]

On the off-chance you take that as a code or something, stay away from the edges of the island, all you'll get is roughed up supposedly.

[notjohnsmith]

Of course that's what they'd say! Has anyone tested it?

[themelancholyof]

You claimed so! And I, in my saintly goodwill, trusted your word! A decision I am rapidly seeing was a mistake!!

[notjohnsmith]

...if you are a secret agent, you're really painfully dedicated to this lame cover story... you'd think someone trying to gain my trust would actually be displaying some of this alleged goodwill.

Hey.

If you actually know me, is there anything you could tell me to help me confirm it? Just making outlandish claims won't help.

[themelancholyof]

You're very secretive about the file folders on your computer!!!

[notjohnsmith]

I suppose that's at least something I could check...

[shortly thereafter]

[notjohnsmith]

... I'm not even going to ask how you know something like that.

Clearly, we obviously know one another.

[themelancholyof]

You pretend to like vegetables for some ungodly reason but you really really hate carrots, I can tell!!

[themelancholyof]

You have a little sister who you will NOT allow me to dress up!!

[themelancholyof]

You're not that bad at karaoke which is unexpected!!

[notjohnsmith]

The two claims in the middle aren't testable.

But I'm not going to bother with this one, either.

All right. We can search for answers together.

I still can't believe I'd let anyone call me something like "Kyon."

[themelancholyof]

Aforementioned sister is very persuasive. I continue to tell you she'd be more persuasive dressed as Saint Tail, but you are not a good listener, I don't know if that's been made clear here.

[themelancholyof]

I HAVE THIS PHOTO ON MY PHONE

[notjohnsmith]

You've proven your point.

Why not just show me something like this in the first place?

[themelancholyof]

Like I know where your picture is on my phone!!