thoughtformed | [accidental video]

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[accidental video]

[Kaworu is curled into the fetal position, three feet off the ground in the middle of the room. Most of the furniture is currently pressed against the far wall, either splintering to pieces or grinding its way into the plaster, as the light ripples around it in a strange octagonal pattern. The phone is forgotten on the floor, beneath him and off to one side.

Kaworu is repeating the same thing, again and again.]

I don’t understand! I... I don’t understand.

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I just broke everything!

[The vehemence of the shout is especially shocking, coming as it does from Kaworu, and the confusion and dismay are palpable.]

Why is this happening? What's wrong with me?

[there's less pressure than he was expecting, but whatever relief he felt at that evaporates when he sees Kaworu. It's so jarring to see him like this that Shinji forgets about how afraid he is]

There's nothing wrong with you, this is just... something angels can do! You just can't remember right now, but I promise this sort of thing doesn't usually happen!

[he walks a little closer towards Kaworu]

Usually we try to destroy the world.

[His tone is suddenly morose, and the floor thrums as his AT Field pushes out again.]

I don't understand, Ikari. If this is who I am, why would you come for me? Unless--

Edited 2012-12-24 23:00 (UTC)

But you didn't want to do it, you stopped it! You're different!

[he can feel the way the floor is vibrating, but that's on the back of his mind right now as he walks even closer to Kaworu. A few more steps and he'll be able to reach out and touch him]

I came because I know you're a good person, even if you can't remember it right now! And I just... I just want to help you.

Even though... the last time something like this happened...

[He lets out a long sigh, and the walls creak again -- this time as the AT Field lessens in intensity a little, and the pressure is very slightly relieved. Kaworu bobs in the air, sinking a little.

He terrifies himself. He's inhuman, possessed of powers he doesn't understand, and he is -- or was -- a danger to the world and to his only friend, a friend whose comfort and understanding he is desperate for, even though it's hard to bear the thought that someone who knows such terrible things about him would still consider him a friend.]

[Shinji can't feel the pressure lessening, but watching Kaworu go lower makes him feel impulsively braver, so he takes a few steps forward and reaches out to him, touching him lightly.

He doesn't even know what Kaworu is referring to exactly when he says 'last time' - is he talking about dying, or about Shinji killing him? - but he's not gonna pull back and think about it now that he's getting somewhere]

Last time... You saved everyone...I think that's the most important thing.

Edited 2012-12-26 19:35 (UTC)

I did?

[Kaworu's hand clamps on to Shinji's fingers, not discouraging, but desperate for an anchor, and he begins to sink back to the ground.]

If that's so... then it's probably because I had a friend like you.

[The AT Field collapses, abruptly, and Kaworu tumbles to the floor.]

Ah!

[in spite of the fact that he was hoping for it, Shinji is still surprised when Kaworu finally drops to the ground. Not letting go of his hand, he follows him down and kneels next to him, putting his other hand on Kaworu's shoulder]

Are you alright??

[Kaworu leans against him, wearily.]

I think I understand now.

You do?

[he's not necessarily sure what Kaworu means, but he's not gonna push him to explain right now.

instead he just squeezes his shoulder, comfortingly]

Ikari... it's you that saves everyone.

[He seems to be relaxing to the point where passing out on the floor would not be out of the question.]

Now, or before... I'm grateful to have a friend who cares enough to save me.

Kaworu-kun...

[his name sort of slips out without him meaning to, but he doesn't notice. Shinji has never been good with comments like his, so kind and positive, and he doesn't know what to say to them. They make him feel weird... but not bad.

Instead, he can feel the way Kaworu seems to be losing strength in his arms, and realizes he should do something about that. A quick look around confirms his worries that sleeping here in the middle of the wreckage might not be the best thing, so instead he puts his arm around Kaworu's waist]

Do you think you could walk?

I... yes.

[The unspoken qualifier to that is that Shinji gets used as a ladder as he climbs to his feet.]

[Shinji is worried enough that he'll let him do that, and even cautiously puts his arm around him in case he drops unexpectedly]

We're going to my room, alright? So you can rest there.

[it's a bit far, but he thinks they can make it!!!]

All right.

[He manages to shuffle along beside Shinji, only leaning into him occasionally.]

[alright so maybe this wasn't one of Shinji's best ideas.

nonetheless they make it, and Shinji carefully helps Kaworu into his room and his bed.

and finds himself a bit at a loss as to what to do]

I'll get you a blanket!

[Kaworu only reluctantly lets go of Shinji, watching him curiously.]

[digs around, eventually finds one on the living room - here's hoping it isn't Sherlock's - and brings it back, putting it next to Kaworu in case he needs it]

Do you want me to leave so you can rest?

[though even as he asks he's unsure on whether he should leave him alone after all that]

Stay.

[The one word is very quiet, but in a different way, very loud.]

[It was just like before when he saw the transmission on the network. There was something about seeing Kaworu distressed that made Shinji want to do something to stop it, even overwhelming his own anxiety.

So instead of leaving, he sits on the bed close to him, hoping that he's giving Kaworu enough room to be comfortable]

Alright... I'll stay.

[Kaworu smiled faintly, curled on his side as close to Shinji as he could.]

Thank you...Shinji-kun.

[maybe it's because of the surprise of hearing his name, but he feels emboldened enough to reach for Kaworu's hand and squeeze it comfortably]

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