thoughtformed | [Video to Connor, but guess who forgot to make it private]

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[Video to Connor, but guess who forgot to make it private]

I know I owe you a lot of explanations. Mostly about the whole "no touching" thing.

I've been a proper bitch about it, but I'm just scared about too many people knowing. A lot of shit goes down whenever someone does touch me, so it's not exactly a pleasant topic. ...Actually, we never really talked about The Storm outside our little shithead group back in Wertham. Skeletons in the closet and all; guess old habits die hard.

Wot I'm trying to say is... you deserve to know.

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[Connor nods slowly, considering that. If it wouldn't trigger her power, he could easily teach her how to fight. It's what he knows best. That doesn't seem to be an option at the moment, but he'll see to it that Alisha doesn't need to fight on her own. She's wound up on the short list of people he'll go out of his way to protect.]

It's a better way to protect yourself than you think. If you don't let people see that they can hurt you, they'll stop trying. That's what I think, anyway.

I hope you're right... you probably are. I mean, it's worked pretty well in the past, but I dunno about this place.

There's so much weird shit going on... people saying I'm supposed to be dating this creeper kid from back home or that I died. Then there was that whole memory thing, on top of people with powers. Now all this Jeremy Kyle revelation shit. Hard to tell whether or not acting like I don't give a fuck will keep on working.

[Rudy -well, one of the Rudys- has already seen through her walls, picking up on things she never thought he'd notice. If he can do it... who knows who else could.]

I think I'm lucky... that there's nobody I know from home here. I don't think I'd want to know what other people think I should or shouldn't be doing because they think they know my future or something like that. That seems to happen a lot around here.

I don't know a lot of people, but I listen well. And I watch.

Maybe they know things that haven't happened to you yet. Or maybe they're from some different timeline. I've heard that happens, too. But it shouldn't matter. We're here now. Not home. Whatever happened or might still happen where we come from...

It doesn't matter anymore, does it?

Now is what matters.

Yeah, it sucks pretty hard hearing about "the future" over and over again. For the best that you don't have to deal with it too.

[As she listens to every word with utmost care, she can feel something bubble up within her heart. For several long moments as he finishes speaking, she doesn't even realize what she feels, not until the serene sense of relief finishes overflowing and completely washes over her. Yes, it was true that she had already felt "relief" conversing with him today, but it wasn't like this. Not in the least.

A fresh start, forgiveness, a step in a new direction, at the very least, a chance to have things turn out different than how Rudy, Nathan, or Simon had said they would. Though she didn't recognize the former longing to be reassured, his words are exactly what she wanted and needed to hear. A small, gracious smile pulls on her lips.]

You're right. You're absolutely right.

[Her voice is willingly sincere, soft with an amicable admiration. Congratulations, Connor; you've successfully gained her true favor and trust far quicker than any of her other friends.]

Thanks... for saying all that.

For everything, actually. Especially when there's all this shit going on; you might not realize it, but you've already pulled through for me more than anyone else has in a long time, even before this place. No matter wot anyone says... you're a good person.

Edited 2013-01-19 01:39 (UTC)

[Really, when given the opportunity, Connor is an insightful young man. He sees other people for what they are, and he gives reasonably good advice... he just so happens to be terrible at applying it to himself, unfortunately. But seeing Alisha smile seems to do him some good, and he smiles in reply, reserved though it may be, but there's the smallest hint of that open boyishness that Alisha had the pleasure to witness when he was without his memories.]

This place is better for me than home would have been, and part of that is because I can make my own future. We all can. We should remember that.

We're not free. But we have a fresh start.

[His cheeks color slightly as he processes her thanking him. Only one other person has ever spoken to him that way. He never expected to see many similarities between Alisha and Cordelia, but they're there -- and they're there where it counts.]

I'm glad that... that you think that. You've helped me, too. ... thank you.

[Based off of first impressions, Connor would have been the last person she'd expect could cheer her up, much less actually make her feel decent about herself --something that even her "closest" friends were never quite able to do. But here he was, continually proving that impression wrong.]

I can settle for a fresh start; that'll work plenty well for me.

[Her smile only grows warmer as she takes in both his own smile and that slight blush. It's almost... cute.]

Guess we're even then, yeah?

[And just like that, his smile turns into an all-out grin, and while it looks almost complete foreign on his face, he seems to light up with that simple shift in expression. It's rare, but probably something he should do a lot more often.]

Yeah. I'd say we're even.

Good; I hate owing people shit.

[She grins back, matching his expression, legitimately happy to see a brighter countenance on him.]

And this turned out a lot better than I thought it would. [Especially when she started revealing things she didn't plan on sharing.]

Don't worry about it. You don't owe me anything.

[If anything, he feels he owes her, really. She's been pretty patient with him -- all things considered. That's more than most people back home would have done, except for Cordy. That's how he sees it, anyway.]

I'm glad. Do you feel better, now that you've told me?

Didn't think so.

[She grins, but then thinks for a moment, weighing her own thoughts and emotions.]

Yeah, I guess I feel better. I mean, it's not like I ever wanted anyone to know that shit about me. I'm just glad out of everyone that could have found out, it was you. Nathan probably wouldn't have taken it very seriously... and probably would have never let me live it down, either. Rudy already knew, so... I don't think he counts. Simon... I don't even want to think about that little creep.

...Definitely glad it was you.

[He's definitely blushing, st that. Coming from Alisha, that's pretty high praise. She doesn't seem to be free with the compliments, generally.]

Well. I won't hold it against you, and I won't tell anyone. It's your business, not theirs. Hearing all that, I'm glad it was me, too.

Is he really a creep? These people are supposed to be your friends, right?

[That's because she isn't; when she does hand out compliments, it's usually begrudgingly. Enjoy it while you can, Connor.]

Like I said, you're a good person.

And yeah, he is. Guess I might have used "friends" a bit liberally. We were all in the same ASBO group, and we all went through a bunch of storm-shit together, yeah. But I'm not close with Simon. Like, at all.

[ASBO. He's pretty sure she explained that before. He nods, though he doesn't quite understand.]

I've been told that going through hard times together can make people closer. I wouldn't really know. But it sounds like they're important to you, at least some.

Is it Simon that keeps telling you you're close? Maybe he just likes you.

Yeah, pretty sure killing and burying our probation workers did the trick. [Wait. Fuck. That sounds awful without context. Quickly:] First one tried to kill us, second one tried to rat us out and Simon accidentally killed her. Well, supposedly accidental. Just for the record.

[Whew.]

And no, he hasn't... oddly enough. I'm pretty sure he's wanked over me in the past, but that's about it. All he's said here is that things are complicated and we have to talk; dunno exactly wot about yet. Rudy's actually the one who has mentioned it a couple times. Then again, he's also the one who told Nathan that we replaced him, which is bullshit; we couldn't get rid of him if we tried. So... I honestly don't know wot the fuck is going on with all of that.

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[Video to Connor, but guess who forgot to make it private]

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