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[allthezpms]

GODDAMNIT WHY AM I EVEN TRYING TO POST THIS MY FINGERS ARE COMPELLING ME TO GO ON IT'S LIKE I CAN'T STOP SPEWING FORTH EVERYTHING COMING INTO MY HEAD AND THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF IN MY HEAD THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND MATH AND SCIENCE AND DERAILED TRAINS OF IT LEFT AND RIGHT

DEAR GOD SELF, SHUT UP

I'LL TRY TO KEEP THIS SHORT AND SWEET EVEN THOUGH SHORT AND SWEET HAS NEVER BEEN MY FORTE WAIT WHY AM I WRITING THIS IN CAPSLOCK HOLD ON

Better

yes

good

okay

class canceled until this is over and i can actually talk and filter myself like a decent human being oh who am i kidding i'm not decent i destroyed a solar system and i will be hiding in my room possibly covering my own mouth with duct tape for the duration

3.141592653589793 pi to 15 places good keep reciting pi actually a real pie sounds good

GOODBYE I'M GOING NOW

Comments

[thneed]

[ oh. the sound of a guitar string breaking ]

A SOLAR SYSTEM?

[allthezpms]

3.141592653589793

it was by accident and it was unoccupied oh fuck me why did i have to mention that now they're going to keep bringing it up just like my real name

THREE POINT ONE FOUR ONE FIVE

[thneed]

You accidentally destroy solar systems?

[allthezpms]

It's all very complicated and involves a lot of science-y explaining that I may take hours to get around to simplifying in this state since I'd go off on tangents and forget what I was talking about to begin with so let's just say that it was another universe- unoccupied, I might add- and oh my job is so dangerous sometimes you do not know the half of it, I mean, there was the time I got a parasite in my brain-

no no no DON'T GO THERE

[thneed]

holy horton

[allthezpms]

3.141592653589793

see if i keep mentally reciting pi it stops all this other stupid and VERY INCRIMINATING STUFF from spewing forth from my mouth

[thneed]

Reciting pi doesn't make me stop wondering if the parasite never left your head.

[allthezpms]

It's something to focus on, though I wish I'd memorized it to more places perhaps I'll go do that now

[thneed]

Rhyme it! That helps memorization.

After that comes 2-3-8
4-6-2-6 is really great
4-3-3-8-3 and 2
7-9-5-0 then another 2 for you~

[allthezpms]

Hey, I kinda like that, it's catchy and helps break the monotony of it a little bit.

[thneed]

There you go. You have my permission to participate in the joyous pastime of rhyme to uh...

Get rid of your crazy.

[thneed]

Does everyone I know have a seriously destructive record?
ARE YOU IMMORTAL TOO?

[allthezpms]

I am not immortal, I am merely a very intelligent and lonely middle-aged man.

[thneed]

Sometimes I think you might be building doomsday devices.
You're freaking me out, Meredith.

[allthezpms]

I'm the person who prevents other people from building and activating those doomsday devices, yes, I am one of THOSE people who works for the government in secrecy and oh man I hate being called Meredith so much why did Mom and Dad have to give me THAT name

[thneed]

Okay well. It's good you're not the one making them and that you're a secret government guy or whatever. I can deal with that. I guess. Because I don't really care and now it sounds cool? I don't trust you with lasers though. If I find a laser I'm destroying it.

You need to get over the name thing, Meredith. My name is a mistake on the birth certificate that nobody cares enough to fix and I rarely complain. You need to own it.

[allthezpms]

Oh believe me we're still stuck with guns and explosives, I'm just a scientist so the military gets to use all the cool laser beam weapons and even then it seems like they get destroyed before they get much use, so.

I am NOT getting over it because I loathe the name Meredith and I really wish you'd stop calling me that!

[thneed]

At least you're not a creepy military scientist.

But I like it! It's you! Don't deny you.

[allthezpms]

No, I just send up saving everyone's bacon with science all the time, quite a thankless job, really

I have never liked it, Rodney is me!

[thneed]

You must have been busier than a one-legged man in a rump-kicking contest. Probably doesn't pay well either...

I'm still going to use it.

[callbacks]

if class resumes before im emotionally recovered can i have an excused absence
because if not ill just take an unexcused absence
im not even actually ashamed to admit that
also can karkat retake the cardboard boat project or do some kind of written thing or something
his grade is probably kind of unfair because i totally sabotaged us so hed fall in the water

[allthezpms]

Well, no matter what my response is clearly you're going to be absent anyway so I may as well make it excused because God knows I may never get around to teaching properly ever again because every time we get settled down some other crap happens but my point being sure go ahead i'll mark it as a legit absence though i don't make any guarantees that Dinkerton won't be concerned, he's a real pal doncha know-

anyway

i do offer extra credit and have an alternate assigment prepared in cases like that because knowing you students like i do i anticipated such mischief arising.

[callbacks]

ok cool
one fewer thing to feel shitty about in the giant pile of cock manure that is this weekend
thanks teach

[allthezpms]

Not a problem, Mr. Strider, I strive to make the teaching experience as painless as possible for all parties involved.

[animator]

Rodney.

Deep breaths, okay?

[allthezpms]

It's kind of hard to breathe when I can't stop the constant stream of crap spewing from my mouth, up to and including things I really did not want other people to know!

[animator]

Yeah. Embarrassing secrets are coming out all over the place.

Hopefully it'll be over soon. Can you maybe hide your phone or shut yourself in your apartment until this passes?

[allthezpms]

I am definitely putting my phone away and, again, possibly applying duct tape to my mouth until it passes.

[animator]

Good plan. Roll with this plan.

[allthezpms]

3.141592653589793

BYE I'M GOING NOW