[Text]

[brotimaeus]

ya know what i miss?
fried food.
and i dont mean the shitty barely-passing-for-fried food were gettin here.
i mean the real grease-fried holy shit this could only be the lone star state gastronomic heaven/hell combo from back home.
fried butter.
chilli.
jalapeño corndog shrimps.
oh my holy christ you havent fuckin lived until youve tried texan food.
i mean that shit is amazing.
and the steak.
ive only found one place here to get a half decent steak its a motherfuckin travesty.
and i miss cornbread.
i dont reckon i ever ate enough cornbread.
if anyone can find me cornbread ill eat my hat.
except i wont eat my hat cause fuck that ill have cornbread.
aint no time for hat eating.
i might just be real fuckin grateful.

Comments

[brotimaeus]

oh shit.
are you serious.

[thneed]

I'm very serious when it comes to food.
We need that and fried green tomatoes and ribs.

[brotimaeus]

oh my god.
RIBS.
how the fuck did i forget about ribs.
i raised dave on this stuff.

[thneed]

How DID you forget that? Barbeque is pretty much an entire food group where I'm from.

Your his [ dad-person-thing-guy-future-dave??-everyone is dave let's not even ask ] -'Bro', right?

[brotimaeus]

i dont even know, man.
maybe ive been here too long.
going native.
ew.

huh?
yeah, thats me.

[thneed]

You look like you could use pizza.
That's been dipped in a fryer.

I don't think I've talked to you before. Hi.

[brotimaeus]

yes.
perfect.
i want that.
was that an offer?
ill pay you.

yeah i dont think we have.
hi.
he works for you, right?

[thneed]

It was an offer!
You can pay me if you want.
Or not.
I could always just charge Dave for it.

Yes, he does. He's awesome at deliveries.

[brotimaeus]

you could charge dave for it.
do that.
he probably makes more than i do anyway the little shit.
when shall we do this.
im free right now.

[thneed]

[ He makes more than Once-ler does too.
World's Most Overpaid Pizza Delivery Boy ]

You could stop by the place and pick it up if you got time? I could put it together.

[brotimaeus]

deal.
one condition.
i want to watch.

[thneed]

You want to watch me make the pizza...?
Sure. That's fine.

[brotimaeus]

i wont pass up the chance to watch a master at work, bro.

[thneed]

Hehe. Master.
By all means then!

[brotimaeus]

[It's not going to be long before he's strolling into the pizza place, glancing over the tops of his shades to look for the guy.]

[thneed]

[ and he is behind the counter, looking up and quietly wondering why gamzee keeps unscrewing the vent covers but whatever. there is a strider in the place. more important matters. ]

Hello~

[brotimaeus]

[Because Gamzee is weird as hell and you should probably be checking your vents for small dead things. Bro lifts one hand in a small wave, then out comes the lazy Texan drawl.]

Hey. You ain't started without me, have you?

[thneed]

Nope, nope. Wouldn't start without you. All I did was get the stuff ready.

[brotimaeus]

Heh, that's what I like to hear. Let's see how it's done, maestro.

[thneed]

Okay welll~ First we make the pizza to fry. Got the dough. ...Dough that is already made because that takes like a day and two hours to be good and usable. You don't want to watch that unless you have way too much time to kill.

[ He's flattening that dough into proper-pizza shape. Kneed it and press it into some flour then roll a pin over it. He starts tossing it between his hands and spinning it ] Sooo -What are we putting on it?

[brotimaeus]

[That's actually genuine interest on his face as he watches Once-ler spinning the dough. Cooking had never been his strong point. Perhaps it would have been something he'd tried... if he'd ever had any space in the kitchen to do it.]

Let's see what you got.

[thneed]

Well! [ He spins the pizza with one hand- keeping it spinning, moving over a little to the ingredients around and pointing with his other hand ] Sauce goes on, obviously. Then we got over six different kinds of cheese here, olives, pepperoni, actual peppers, a lot of vegetables, fish options, pineapple, nuts-- Hmmmm! Okay. I got it. We could stick ground beef on there since you kind of seam like a meat guy, right? So we'll do that and sausages, little meatballs and whatever else you want to shove on with that. How's that sound?

[brotimaeus]

[He is impressed, dude. Hidden behind that poker face is a slowly growing respect for you and your pizza-making skills.

No way in hell is he going to disrespect a guy who can make pizza.]

Sounds like you're readin' my motherfuckin' mind. [A pause.] ... Who the hell puts nuts on a pizza.

[thneed]

[ He tosses the dough one more time before putting it down, straightening it out, and effortlessly putting the sauce and cheeses on it (cool people don't have one kind of cheese, he's assuming). Then piling on the nonsense he listed. Meat. Meat. What else? Oh yes.. meat.

And maybe a vegetable to give some vague feeling of healthiness to this thing. Yeah. He's declaring himself Master Pizza Maker Wizard. ]

I have no idea. I just know it's not John. People get really weird with their toppings sometimes but who am I to question the customer?

[brotimaeus]

[He assumes correctly. Bro is going to make no comment on the amount of cheese, just nod in approval. The only thing that gets a mild side-eye is the vegetable addition, but he presses his lips together and says nothing, one eyebrow raising over his shades.

He used to pull that same kind of shit with Dave to get him to at least eat something marginally healthy.]

I don't know, man.. if somethin' ain't right then it ain't right. Nuts on a pizza is one of them things.