thoughtformed | (no subject)

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So here's the thing: ignoring the whole not technically real bit-- since, y'know, been there, done that long enough, thanks-- I gotta give credit to this world for somehow trapping me here. Noooot exactly something that's ever happened to me before. Way to go! Buuut I'm getting ahead of things. Kinda jumped right in with the dialogue without properly introducing myself, woops. The name's Lea. Got it memorized?

Great, now that I've got that covered, I've just got a couple of questions I'd like answered. First off, anyone seen any kids with giant keys hanging around? Or, well, okay, anyone with a giant key, I guess. It prooobably sounds weird, but it's kind of important. Aaand the other thing is, all kudos to the world barrier for being able to block me aside, is there anyone here working on figuring that thing out? 'Cause if there is, I'd definitely be willing to be part of that getting-the-heck-out-of-here committee. Just sayin'!

Thaaat's pretty much it. Thanks.

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[He can't help but smile a bit when Roxas starts to try to figure it out by himself. He is stupidly fond of that dumb kid, wow. Of course, the conclusion is all wrong, but Lea has been pretty vague on the details... Speaking of the conclusion-- he can't help it, the second Roxas says "Sora killed you", Lea laughs.]

Nah. Not even close. Sorry, I guess I should've said... I planned to turn him into a heartless. That kinda fell apart when I lost Kairi. [he rubs the back of his neck helplessly] The whole thing was pretty convoluted from the start, so just ignore the plan part, okay? The point is, because of that, Kairi was in the Castle, Sora was stuck trying to get to her, and I... well, I was there. [shrugs] I decided to help him out of that situation.

[Give him another few minutes to start thinking this through again...

...so...if Lea is a person, and that means Axel the Nobody died...and Axel the Nobody was the last person he saw, but then he saw Sora in a tunnel of Nobodies and Sora's apparently still totally fine...]

...no. [That's not a good conclusion. That's crazy talk! Why would Axel become a distraction and take out the Nobodies to make sure Sora got away?]

You're starting to get the full picture, huh? [it's a wry smile] At first, I just wanted to clear the way for him. It's not like I went in there with the idea of-- [he sighs and shakes his head] I was at the end of my rope, anyway. I put all I had left into one attack. [there's a dramatic pause because he's still being vague, sort of]

Well, I'd always wanted to go out with a bang.

[probably not the best time to joke w o o p s]

[...give him a moment before a hand comes flying and thwaps Lea right in the chest as hard as he can. Which probably doesn't even reach his chest lbr the kid's tiny.]

Don't even joke about that! How could you do? What if it didn't even work!?

[the chest is probably the highest roxas can reach if we're being optimistic??also he is a tiny child with small but powerful fists, ow. He rubs at it halfheartedly and makes a face at Roxas's insinuation]

Didn't work-- what do you take me for? Of course I could handle some Dusks. [he shakes his head and looks away after that, though] It didn't matter either way. I didn't have anything left to lose. So I decided to put everything I had towards saving Sora and giving him a way to the Organization's base.

You dummy...[He's not even entirely sure what he's upset about. There's just something wrong with thinking of his best friend going on a more-or-less suicide mission to save his Other.

He just settles for hitting him again. A few times. His fists are kind of just flying a bit because why why why why why.] It doesn't matter if you can handle the Dusks! What if it wasn't enough to buy Sora time and you did it for nothing anyway?

[this is not how lea thought this conversation would go at all, but lbr he didn't even expect to have to mention exploding himself so. he lets roxas beat on him with only winces because he deserves-- more or less that, probably]

Okay, a: it it did work, so stop thinking about the what ifs, b: please, dark rescue's my middle name, like there was anyway it wouldn't have worked and c--

[he pauses to think about how much he hates talking about personal things so much, even more now that he has actual feelings ugh. also because the next part is hard to admit]

I didn't care, Roxas. All I'd ever wanted was to feel again, and the closest I ever got was by hanging out with you. [and xion, but at the time he didn't remember her, so] When I lost that-- I messed up. By the time I got Sora out of that jam, I was practically dead anyway. [there's another smaller pause and then:] It doesn't matter. I did it, then I woke up and I was whole again, so that worked out pretty great.

[yeeeep he just dismissed his own suicide/heroic sacrifice yep yep a+ lea]

...can't believe you're just brushing this off. [But he at least stopped hitting Lea for the time being.] I guess I just...kinda feel like it was my fault. [Which feels familiar. The death of a close friend because of things happening to him? People disappearing and sacrificing themselves? It was way, way too close to home but he couldn't figure out why.]

Silly. [he gives a quiet laugh before sort of-- reaching out to push Roxas's shoulder, casually] I just told you, I was cleaning up my mess. Like I was ever going to let anyone get credit for killing me.

[He doesn't seem to mind, but he's still unsettled. On the other hand? He's really, really relieved to see him again, and that's what counts.]

Are you happy this way?

Being whole? Yeah, of course. [he rubs the back of his neck and laughs, decidedly embarrassed] Though I gotta admit, I'm a lot happier with you here. [time to pretend that confession or any else ever happened] And, see, I can actually say I'm happy without people doubting me left and right. Bonus points.

So-- what else didja wanna know?

[...that just gets a tentative grin.] ...me too. It's kind of strange still, but...I'm happy. [Confused still, but happy.] There's a lot I want to know, but I don't know if you can tell me. And that's okay. Maybe... I'm not supposed to know yet.

[Lea grins back] It's up to you. I said I'd tell you anything you wanted to know, and I mean it. [he regrets it! but he means it. he pauses for a second before deciding to say at least something about the you know trio part of their trio] Though... about Xion...

I'll keep that in mind. [He will hold him to that for, like, ever.] ...what about her?

I dunno what they told you, but... We were friends. All three of us. [he pauses, then adds:] We both forgot.

Nobody told me anything. [And that's half the problem.] Why did we forget her?

... I'm not sure. [he thinks it might have been because of what she is, but he doesn't want to go into that right now; plus she was hanging around Naminé before that, so he hasn't ruled out that possibility yet.] I just remembered when I saw her, but-- you had your head messed with pretty recently. That might be why you can't figure it out.

[well, that and Lea had some help remembering, but that's neither here nor there]

Maybe. [Because he's still not too happy his memories are so scrambled up.] Do you think that means I'll remember soon, too? You and Riku know her, and if we're here long enough...

I think so, yeah. If you spend enough time interacting with her, then maybe... [he shrugs] I'm not sure. I mean, I've got an advantage over you-- I've got way better memory to start with. [said teasingly, but lbr it's true. lea remembers having to teach you basic day to day things okay]

Whatever. [But he knows it's a joke, so he can't be too mad.] I guess I really was kind of a mess when we first met, huh?

Oh, definitely. [laughs] Hey, at least you got better. I've always just kind of been an overall mess.

Everything's been really kind of complicated lately.

...is Xion upset I don't remember?

Man, that's not a recent thing. That's life. You just didn't notice before.

[he thinks about it]

... Probably. At the same time, I think she doesn't want you to remember. She's worried about a lot of stuff. That's how she is.

Worried about what though? I'll remember eventually. I have to.

Stuuuuuff? I dunno, man. Girls are complicated.