happy newmooreiversary to me

[callbacks]

hags
tg (dave strider)

[Edit five minutes later (also GIF WARNING):]


Online Photo Editor

TO: cool souji
SUBJ: when you get home

yo check the fridge

Comments

DAMMIT I FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS AND NOW YOU DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET.

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT
NO
THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA

hi again

[reanimated]

What? No, it's a bloody fantastic idea. Don't knock it til you've tried it.

HUMAN SEXUALITY JOKE NOT ACTUALLY INTENDED.

[ihateyouetc]

OK HOLD UP
LET ME GET THIS "STRAIGHT" HERE.
ARE YOU ADVOCATING I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES ON THE HUMAN BEACH.

sure it wasn't

[reanimated]

NO, I'm clearly advocating EVERYBODY getting the fuck over themselves and taking off their clothes as the human beach.

IT WASN'T FUCK YOU.

[ihateyouetc]

I DUNNO, BRO. THAT SEEMS LIKE A BAD MOVE.
I GET YOU HAVE THIS IDEA EVERYONE SHOULD BE COOL WITH BEING AS STRIPPED AND VULNERABLE AS THE DAY THEY WERE "BORN"
BY "BORN" I MEAN TINY HUMAN WIGGLERS SCREAMING AS THEY PAINFULLY EMERGE FROM THE NETHER REGIONS OF A FEMALE HUMAN
AND IN OUR CASES "HATCHED"
OR I GUESS I DIDN'T HATCH? I KINDA CAME INTO CREATION BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING INTO THAT AGAIN
BUT WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT WILL PINCH THE SHIT OUT OF YOU HIDDEN IN THE SAND AND IT JUST SEEMS LIKE A BAD IDEA NOT TO HAVE ANY LAYERS OF PROTECTION BETWEEN YOURSELF AND THEIR CLAWS.

[reanimated]

Pffffffft who cares? Not me. What's life without a little risk, Karkat? Don't roll around in the sand and you won't get your cock snipped off by crabs. Now getting eaten by sharks is another story but that'll happen either way and oh shit why haven't I done that one yet

[ihateyouetc]

OK FIRST OFF, THEY'LL COME AT YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE SITTING THERE DOING NOTHING BUT PRODDING THEM. THEY'RE TOTAL ASSHOLES.
SECONDLY, I'M PRETTY SURE THERE'S ONLY ONE SHARK HERE.
FEFERI SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH IT AND TRYING TO LIKE...
GOD, WHO KNOWS? WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO WITH A SHARK.
IT'S A FUCKING FISH.
BUT SHE TREATED IT LIKE IT WAS A FRIEND WHOSE NAME SHE KNEW AND SHE SAID IT WAS REALLY TRAUMATIZED AND UPSET BY SOMETHING?
SO I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET ANYWHERE WITH THAT.

[reanimated]

Yep, still don't care! That's the chance my loyal subjects'll have to take when I enact my ordinance. Trust me, once you'll try it you'll ask yourself WHY WAS I EVER WORRIED ABOUT CRABS IN THE FIRST PLACE

[reanimated]

At least that kind of crabs, nude beaches bring about the dangers of a whole other kind of crabs. You're old enough to learn about that now.

[reanimated]

And I'll make that shark eat me if it's the last thing I do. Which it very well might be!

[ihateyouetc]

I KNOW THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRABS, ASSHOLE.
I'M NOT A GOD DAMN IDIOT.

[ihateyouetc]

ALSO DUDE JUST LET IT GO.
IT SOUNDED LIKE THE SHARK WENT THROUGH A LOT?
I'M NOT SURE IT'S UP TO EATING ANYBODY.
YOU MIGHT JUST UPSET IT MORE.

[reanimated]

So the school's doing its job then? Just remember, if the girl looks dirty, wear two condoms.

[reanimated]

IT'S A FUCKING SHARK SINCE WHEN DO WE CARE ABOUT ITS FEELINGS

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS BEYOND THAT. MOVING ON!

[ihateyouetc]

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ITS FEELINGS OK???
I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF ALL HER HARD WORK WENT TO WASTE BECAUSE YOU WENT AND GAVE IT MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA.