the once-ler (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thneed) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thoughtformed2013-07-14 01:11 am
thneed) wrote in thoughtformed2013-07-14 01:11 am
Entry tags:
eighteen.
Ehem. Hello! Are you on an island you never wanted to be on? Are you hungry and have no idea where food is? You should call Paradox Pizza. With delicious pizzas (and pancakes we do breakfasts), completely affordable prices, and delivery service that will literally deliver the pizza immediately after you hang up the phone -- it's the best place to get food.
Unless you're craving dessert! In which case you should direct yourself to those fancy coupons in another post and get some Betty Crocker products.
Not hungry? You need a thneed. What's that? It's a revolutionary product with a million uses*! A million, you ask? No way!
Yes way! It's a parachute, a suit, a bufferfly net, a people net, a bodybag (not intended for recommended use), a sleeping bag, a reusable diaper, an exercise belt, a conveyor belt, a runny nose wiper, a slingshot, a catapult, a muzzle, an attractive designer bag, a tightrope, a jump rope, a cape, a colorful cat sweater, an underwater fish igloo, a carpet, drapes, a pillow, sheets, a bicycle seat, a swimsuit, a monkey suit, a tea cozy, a fabulous cocktail dress, a wi-fi hot spot, earmuffs, oven mitts, mouse pad, mouse house, a dog house, a house-house, fancy blouse, a car seat, a booster seat, a pair of socks, underpants, it puts out campfires, it wards of vampires, a pool cover, a soup, balloon.... AND MOOORE!
Thneeds are all natural, made of one-hundred-and-ten-percent truffula tuft.
Don't need a large, medium, or small because it's uniquely designed for a true one-size-fits-all.
To the touch this wonderful thing is softer than silk!
And it smells sweeter than butterfly milk!
And it comes in 84 colors which all look great!
And it can be yours for just 3.98!
*Thneeds can not be trees.
edit: And take a look right here for free breadsticks.
Unless you're craving dessert! In which case you should direct yourself to those fancy coupons in another post and get some Betty Crocker products.
Not hungry? You need a thneed. What's that? It's a revolutionary product with a million uses*! A million, you ask? No way!
Yes way! It's a parachute, a suit, a bufferfly net, a people net, a bodybag (not intended for recommended use), a sleeping bag, a reusable diaper, an exercise belt, a conveyor belt, a runny nose wiper, a slingshot, a catapult, a muzzle, an attractive designer bag, a tightrope, a jump rope, a cape, a colorful cat sweater, an underwater fish igloo, a carpet, drapes, a pillow, sheets, a bicycle seat, a swimsuit, a monkey suit, a tea cozy, a fabulous cocktail dress, a wi-fi hot spot, earmuffs, oven mitts, mouse pad, mouse house, a dog house, a house-house, fancy blouse, a car seat, a booster seat, a pair of socks, underpants, it puts out campfires, it wards of vampires, a pool cover, a soup, balloon.... AND MOOORE!
Thneeds are all natural, made of one-hundred-and-ten-percent truffula tuft.
Don't need a large, medium, or small because it's uniquely designed for a true one-size-fits-all.
To the touch this wonderful thing is softer than silk!
And it smells sweeter than butterfly milk!
And it comes in 84 colors which all look great!
And it can be yours for just 3.98!
*Thneeds can not be trees.
edit: And take a look right here for free breadsticks.
no subject
no subject
tl;dr
okay not like necessarily didnt read but
you know whatever the point is
too much glubbing yo
people around here have proven to me that theyre kinda dumb
no subject
I should've pulled the jingle out instead, huh?
no subject
thats why i stuck with pictures
then they turned out to be blind and illiterate so waterever
anemoneway if youre gonna go all informercial on em you gotta have some hot piece of bass usin your thing
i mean not that you dont fit that bill but yknow usually girls get the job done betta
no subject
Like those girls that hold their hands up to show how nice a car is?
no subject
just any hot piece of lady bass messin with your thingy
keeps everyones attention much betta and makes people want things efin if they dont know what it is
no subject
no subject
no one can resist this piece of bass
assumin it aint a conflict of business interests
<3
no subject
no subject
no subject