thoughtformed | (no subject)

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As amazing as it was to have so many new faces in town, it's much calmer without the crowds. Welcome to the few who stayed! If you have any questions that didn't get answered in that hullaballoo, I'd be more than happy to try and answer what I can.

Ah, otherwise, if you're interested in a job, the police station is hiring a night-shift dispatcher and they're always looking for more qualified officers!

[Private Audio: Sirius]

[Subdued and thoughtful, Sheska's voice is softer than it usually is when she contacts him. More serious. The last time she sounded like this was probably around the time she mentioned Mr. Hughes in casual conversation.]

Do you think I might be able to stop by the shop and talk this evening? I think I need some advice.

[Private Text: The Once-ler]

Can I ask you a question? I need some advice.

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Surely you've had some experience... [She sounds absolutely wretched, unaware that the phrase might hurt.] Everyone wants to be with you - they certainly must have plagued you at school - how did you turn them down? Or break up with someone? This is so far beyond me... What if you like someone, but you're already with someone else? And the second person asks you out? Maybe I should just give up on dating. It's all so complicated. I could only dream of something so pure as to be able to just know like that.

Look, Sheska, love, I... You really don't want to live up to my example. In anything. I'm sure there are worse examples somewhere out there, but I couldn't think of any.

I just know that you deserve to be happy. And you deserve someone special to make you happy. I'm sure it will happen to you, maybe when you least expect it. Don't force it, love. You'll find the right one.

Nonsense... [To what part of that speech she's referring is unclear, and she doesn't clarify, sighing and murmuring something about not being cut out for this under her breath.]

Did I... Did I tell you that I had someone else ask me? I don't understand how it keeps happening.

Who else asked you out, love? And, to be honest, what I can't understand is how this hasn't happened a thousand times before already.

[She could give him a list as long as her arm, but somehow she thinks that was rhetorical.]

Itsuki Koizumi. Your roommate, I think, actually... I don't... really understand.

Ah...

Huh. Well. Do you like him?

I... [She bites her lip, looking guilty.] I think so? I hadn't really thought about it much, but... The more I think about it, the more I think it's true. I don't know what to do.

Well... The obvious thing to do would be spending more time with him, don't you think? See if you feel the sparks.

[She looks up at him, startled. She hadn't thought of that. She'd asked if she could have some time to think about it.]

But isn't it... isn't it better this way? To have some space so things couldn't get in the way?

...what things could get in the way of what how?

[Right. Nouns. Proper nouns. And descriptors.]

I-I mean, if I spend more time with him, wouldn't that, er, taint the study, as it were? What if I focus so hard on seeing if there are sparks that I imagine sparks where there aren't any? O-or thinking there are more sparks than there are?

Do you think our friendship would improve greatly if we stopped interacting?

What? No! B-but I'm not... [She goes pink. Again. And goes back to watching her hands.] I-I'm not... Y-you're not asking... asking me out. Either.

Er, no, I'm not. [...this isn't going as intended.] I just mean, you're not going to figure out if you like someone and if you want to be with them by not being with them.

[She didn't think you were. She knew you never would. She's... she's past it. Yes. Still not looking at you, though.]

Well... but... th-that's how... That's how you want me to think about... about Rudy, isn't it?

That's a different situation. For one thing, I know Koizumi wouldn't do anything while you aren't fully aware of what's happening.

[She flinches, shoulders hunching, subconsciously trying to make herself smaller. It was her fault as much as his. Her shoulders that undercurrent of anger fell on.]

...Maybe I shouldn't do this at all. I don't have a clue what I'm doing.

[...he is so not qualified for any of this.]

You don't feel comfortable around Rudy anymore, do you? How about Koizumi?

[There's a long moment of silence while she thinks about it, going back to how they'd laughed and played board games and had ended the night on a pleasant note, after the frisson of terrible awkwardness when he'd so politely asked to court her. (Court her!) Finally she nods.]

We... we had a good time. It was nice to see him relax a little more than he does at the office.

[A smile tugs at her lips.]

He's actually a little terrible at board games. If he wasn't letting me win. But he said he wasn't, and I believe him.

[He sees the smile and smiles himself, stroking her hair once before pulling back.]

In that case, love, there's not going to come any harm from spending more time with him. And if you feel yourself really liking him, then you can see about becoming more than just friends.

I don't want to hurt him, though... I mean, what if, for some reason, I don't actually like him that way? What if I send the wrong signals? What if I get his hopes up and then I have to tell him no?

I bet he'd still prefer that to you not trying at all, don't you think? It's alright to figure things out for yourself. It's even alright to start dating and then stop again. It's not as if you have to get married after the first date.

Do you think so? It really hurts to be told it won't work... I'll... I'll think about it. Maybe ask him. [If she could ever get the courage. She sighs.] You're probably right, though. As usual. [Small smile for him this time.] I need to be braver, mostly, don't I.

I think you're pretty brave already. Just have to use that courage for yourself for a change. [He pulls her into a hug and smiles.]

Don't worry so much about it. Life can be about having fun. Love can, too.

[She laughs a little, shaking her head, but hugs him right back, grateful for the touch.]

If you think I'm brave, I'm not sure you've been paying attention. But thank you. I have no idea what I'm doing... But I'll try. Thank you for putting up with my rambling. I know I've kept you up.

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