thoughtformed | [video]

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[video]

[It's Sirius Black, on video, apparently in a good mood. That can't be good.]

I'm interrupting everyone's busy schedule of catching mice and grooming for a very important announcement: It's Harry's birthday tomorrow! Happy Birthday, Harry!

[A wizard with a wand and some fre time on his hands can do a lot of real life sparkles.]

So, I'm not sure how comfortable you are with making this all public, but let's be honest, birthdays are always partly an excuse to publicly embarrass the birthday boy. At least I'm not singing. Yet. I will in a few hours, when it's your actual birthday, I'm just starting early, because you never know what this island will be up to next.

I did however already get you a present and I think I finally managed to work out most of the kinks.

[With that he moves the device to show the gift he made for him.]

I've been working on it for a while now and chances are this one won't break free and evade capture for months on end. Probably. Anyway, I'd like to celebrate. If you don't mind. There's a lot of catching up to do and I have some things to show you.

Everyone else, you should celebrate tomorrow too! It's a great day.

[Private to Sheska and Once-ler]

I need birthday food for a teenage boy and I thought, hey, I know two people very likely to be willing and able to help me out. Against payment of course, Once-ler. Maybe you two could work on it together? [nudge nudge wink wink]

[ooc: Sorry for spamming the comm, but it's HARRY POTTER'S BIRTHDAY, damn it. Also, the image isn't quite right, but you try finding a flying broom that's not a replica of a Harry Potter movie prop.]

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[Don't mind her going very white over here.]

...oh, Merlin, Sheska, I'm sorry! I forgot you could see this, fuck.

[Faintly...]

No... don't be sorry... Sirius, what...? Is that... personal experience...?

That's... It doesn't matter, look. It's just a story, really.

It really does matter if that actually happened to you. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but... this is the sort of thing sometimes I wish I knew about you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been looking.

Why would you want to know such things about anyone? Someone like you...

[She winces slightly at that phrase, but soldiers on, trying to put the feeling into words.]

Because it helps me understand you better. It helps to know what you've gone through. The sorts of things that might make you feel bad. Or good, if there are good memories! The bad things are as important as the good things. I wouldn't want to give someone a spider shaped cookie if they're afraid of spiders. I don't know what a... Dementor looks like, but I should probably know so that I don't accidentally startle you with something that reminds you of them.

They look like nothing, they're just felt.

I don't want to scare you, love.

I'd rather you frightened me and I knew what was going on than you hiding things that hurt you. If it's past, it's pretty unlikely that I'd be able to help, but...

[She stops for a long, vaguely uncomfortable moment, then shakes herself and re-sets her shoulders, looking at him with clear-eyed calm.]

I trust you. I know there are things everyone feels a need to keep to themselves. If you feel comfortable sharing something with me, or needed to talk something over, you know I'll be there as quickly as I can. Not apparating, obviously, but still. I won't push. Just promise me you'll let me know?

[The thing is, Sirius doesn't want to tell her of his present, of his future. He doesn't even want to tell her of his past. He doesn't want to see the concern in her eyes as he described Azkaban, doesn't want her to, when one day he leaves, know that this is what he's returning to.

But he knows she cares and he doesn't want to disregard that, either.]

Come by the shop, Sheska, and I can show you some things.

[Blink blink. Hesitate.]

...Are you sure? It's your choice, you know. I don't want to force you into anything.

Trust me, love, you can't force me into anything.

But come by, will you?

Of course. [It's immediate. No hesitation anymore. Just simply stated and sincere.] Whatever you need. I'll be there as soon as I can. Should I pick anything up for you on the way?

No, love, I'm all set. Just come when you're free.

[Sheska arranged to take off a few hours early that afternoon. A call from her friend was not something to dither over, but something to be acted upon. Even if she did sort of bully him into it. She ducked into the shop and made her way through the rows of bright distractions to the front counter.]

Sirius?

I'm upstairs, Sheska. You can come up, I took down the wards against you before.

[And he's standing in the familiar chaos of his work and, most days, living space, taking the Pensieve out of the closet to carefully set it down on the table.]

[There had been wards? She hadn't realized... The upper room was of course, quite familiar. She'd spent the better part of a week here, unable to do much for herself and imposing on him terribly while she recovered from that illness earlier this year. There were all sorts of new experiments and things set up since the last time she was year - a lot of potion things, if she was looking at it right. But she hadn't ever seen him bring out that silver basin.

Watching her footing so that she didn't step on anything she shouldn't, she cautiously made her way over to the table, keeping her hands to herself. She'd hate to upset something. As it was, she was afraid she'd upset him over this. Drawing a steadying breath, she stops just out of reach of the basin.]

If you don't want to do this, Sirius, you know that you don't have to. You never have to explain anything if you don't want to.

I know, Sheska. I never in my life did anything but what I wanted to do, until I had no choice left.

[He holds a hand out to Sheska while he sits down by the table himself, tearing his eyes off the silvery liquid to look at her.]

This is a Pensieve. It's a way for a wizard or witch to store memories, to revisit them. Remus left some, before he was released.

[His somber mood sets off little alarm bells, even as she takes his hand and sits with him. She's been so used to seeing him cheery, or at least a little mischievous recently that it feels like a somewhat abrupt backslide into the depression that so haunted him. It probably hasn't actually been all that long, but this goes bone-deep, and she has no idea how to fix it.

The liquid - what was it? It wasn't quicksilver, and it didn't move like water - is mesmerizing, and she finds herself watching it soberly.]

Memories? How...?

It's not that complicated. You just have to keep the memory in mind and then, with a wand, kind of pull it out. It helps when you want to review a situation, see if you missed any details.

I'd show you, but my memories might not... Well, not be quite right.

[He smiles and gives her hand a slight squeeze.]

But if you'd like, I can show you some of what Remus remembered.

[Her fingers tighten around his in return, and she tears her eyes away from the fascinating shimmer to look at him.]

...Is that all right? I mean, it seems awfully intimate somehow. And he hasn't exactly given me permission.

Yeah, no, it's fine. He did it for me. And they're not all that...

It's just, it's better to see than have me talk about it. Mostly because I'm terrible at talking about it these days.

[He shrugs and offers her a smile.]

Are you ready? You can see and hear people, but they can't see or hear us. It will be just a memory, we can watch, but not interact.

Well... If you think it will be all right. How do you do this, then?

[Would it be images in the air? On the liquid's surface? Would they walk into a mist? She has no idea what to do, but she trusts he'll lead her through it all right.]

Just... close your eyes, love. You're not used to magic, that should be easier on you.

[He waits for her to follow the instruction and then he says nothing for a while, until he wraps his arms around her from behind and whispers.]

Open your eyes. Here we are.

[It's the Gryffindor dorm room, it's the room Sirius sees as his home more than anything else. Remus, much younger than he was when he was last in New Moore, is sitting on his bed, reading, while on another bed James very animatedly explains the tactic for a Quidditch game they'd already won to Peter, who listens with a rapt expression.

Sirius is sitting by the window, looking about as handsome as bored.]

That's me.

[Clearly that has to be pointed out.]

About...nine years ago? Maybe.

[Sheska doesn't hesitate, doing as he asks, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't gasp when he embraces her. She can't suppress the strangely pleasant shiver that runs down her spine, or the soft noise of surprise at the complete change of scenery. Her hands creep up to perch tentatively on his arms, needing a link to the familiar. Four boys - that one was most certainly Mr. Lupin, and Sirius was unmistakable. The other two she doesn't know. Where could they be that there were such beautiful four-poster beds, and round walls.... A tower? It reminds her of a castle, or the descriptions she's read of castles, in a sort of cheerfully disorganized, casual luxury that she could only dream of.

She kept her voice low, wonder suffusing her tone as she looked around trying to take in everything at once.]

Where... Where are we?

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