(no subject)

[everythingspandex]

Random Photos That Sit on a Camera & Never Go Anywhere: An Autobiography by Peter Parker.


















If anyone wants nice ball photos, Mister Hotel Boss kind of asked me to make them look good while I'm there. So. Yeah, just pull me aside at some point and I'll make sure you have proof you were fancy. Or beforehand. Or whenever.

In other news, Gwen (that doesn't smell like delicious Asian food) I wanna ask you a thing.

Comments

[everythingspandex]

It's a trend I wish didn't catch on.

[thatboyisamonster]

Unfortunately.

[everythingspandex]

Life is hard.

[thatboyisamonster]

Extremely so.

[everythingspandex]

Still. At least I don't have horns getting stuck on curtains. I feel like that would happen.

Or a cape. Capes look cool but you get a fan going and suddenly it's a choking hazard.

[thatboyisamonster]

You spend a lot of time thinking about hypothetical scenarios, don't you?

[everythingspandex]

I have an overactive imagination.

[thatboyisamonster]

How difficult it must be.

[everythingspandex]

Like I said, life is hard.

[thatboyisamonster]

Perhaps it would help if it wasn't so fleeting.

[everythingspandex]

Moving a step up from blips in the universe would be a little cool, I guess. But living ridiculously long is just as depressing as it being short so.

[thatboyisamonster]

What makes you say that? Have you ever tried it?

[everythingspandex]

Well no... But like. If you're living long enough to outlive people you like? Seems kind of lonely. And what if the only people living as long as you suck?

[thatboyisamonster]

I have no court with mortals. The only person I know who would suffer from such a thing is Thor. He loves a human.

[everythingspandex]

Poor Thor. I'm sure he'll figure it out though. But what? Courting aside, you hate literally all of us? You're not going to be maybe a tiny bit frowny face at anyone? Or if you lose a mortal cat? You seem like a cat guy. You could get sad about a cat dying.

[thatboyisamonster]

Cats are slightly more bearable than human beings. Though, let's be fair. It's not a high standard.

[everythingspandex]

Dude, you're never going to get mortal friends with that attitude.

[thatboyisamonster]

Unless friendship is magic, I don't see the point of it. I've had friends before. They were quick to blame me for every mistake.

[everythingspandex]

But were the mistakes actually your fault?

Friendship is magic. Trust me. I am a friendship expert.
Kind of.

[thatboyisamonster]

I do happen to know which ones were mine and which ones were not.

[everythingspandex]

So most of them?

[thatboyisamonster]

I did not plot against Thor. I did not want to hurt him. But apparently my desire to annihilate my own family is as easy as breathing.

[everythingspandex]

If your plan goes haywire enough to plot against your brother accidentally you're probably doing something wrong.

[thatboyisamonster]

My plan is it?

[everythingspandex]

Whatever you were doing that turned into annihilating family members.