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Random Photos That Sit on a Camera & Never Go Anywhere: An Autobiography by Peter Parker.

If anyone wants nice ball photos, Mister Hotel Boss kind of asked me to make them look good while I'm there. So. Yeah, just pull me aside at some point and I'll make sure you have proof you were fancy. Or beforehand. Or whenever.

In other news, Gwen (that doesn't smell like delicious Asian food) I wanna ask you a thing.

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Perhaps it would help if it wasn't so fleeting.

Moving a step up from blips in the universe would be a little cool, I guess. But living ridiculously long is just as depressing as it being short so.

What makes you say that? Have you ever tried it?

Well no... But like. If you're living long enough to outlive people you like? Seems kind of lonely. And what if the only people living as long as you suck?

I have no court with mortals. The only person I know who would suffer from such a thing is Thor. He loves a human.

Poor Thor. I'm sure he'll figure it out though. But what? Courting aside, you hate literally all of us? You're not going to be maybe a tiny bit frowny face at anyone? Or if you lose a mortal cat? You seem like a cat guy. You could get sad about a cat dying.

Cats are slightly more bearable than human beings. Though, let's be fair. It's not a high standard.

Dude, you're never going to get mortal friends with that attitude.

Unless friendship is magic, I don't see the point of it. I've had friends before. They were quick to blame me for every mistake.

But were the mistakes actually your fault?

Friendship is magic. Trust me. I am a friendship expert.
Kind of.

I do happen to know which ones were mine and which ones were not.

So most of them?

I did not plot against Thor. I did not want to hurt him. But apparently my desire to annihilate my own family is as easy as breathing.

If your plan goes haywire enough to plot against your brother accidentally you're probably doing something wrong.

My plan is it?

Whatever you were doing that turned into annihilating family members.

Ah, that plan.

That's the one.

Remind me then. When did I say that was my plan?

You didn't you just said you didn't plot against Thor. But you had to be doing something that ended up making everyone think that. Some plan that went into murderous territory.

People don't just randomly go wow he wants to annihilate his family unless there's some crazy stuff going on.

Odin banished Thor over Thor's own actions. Thor sought to destroy an entire race. When I saved his friend's lives, apparently that proved that I was jealous of Thor. A traitor.