morning after homecoming...

[andagoodsoldier]

 i will give $200 to the first person who brings me ibuprofen and sunglasses

Comments

[callbacks]

you have a choice
doornumberone.jpg
doornumbertwo.jpg
or doornumberthree.jpg

or thecheapescapehatch.jpg

[andagoodsoldier]

i don't know whether i want to laugh or be sick

why are you so cruel, i have a hangover

[callbacks]

i wasnt raised right
shits at your door

[He was merciful and actually got Jason a decent-looking pair of drugstore sunglasses to go with his ibuprofen.]

you better be serious about that two hundred though
my familys birthdays are coming up soon and ive got no plans to bankrupt myself this year

[andagoodsoldier]

[Later, after Jason has joined the world of the living long enough to check his front door.]

i honestly thought you were going to leave dog crap at my door, you might want to use apostrophes in context sensitive situations.

or not, because you're my favorite person on this island and you can do no wrong. where should i leave the money?

[callbacks]

you know we live in the same building right
i live two floors directly down from you
would that be cash or check

[andagoodsoldier]

i actually didn't know that.

you like small or big bills?

[callbacks]

ooh
big ones
for the novelty factor

[andagoodsoldier]

give me twenty minutes for the ibuprofen to kick in and i'll bring it down.

[callbacks]

haha no rush bro
i know where you live
also i remember how much i wanted someone to fucking murder me after i got wasted at last years homecoming so im inclined to be sympathetic

[andagoodsoldier]

not to make it sound like i've taken way too many drugs in my time but booze hangovers are so much more tolerable than anesthesia hangovers.

anyway, it's already done.

[When Dave opens his door he'll find two $100 bills taped to it. The first has been defaced to make it look like Ben is puking scribbles, the second is Ben wearing some sick shades.]

[callbacks]

hahaha sick
you didnt tell me you were an artist broskillet
these are going in a frame

[andagoodsoldier]

they're not signed. verification will be impossible.

[callbacks]

ill know theyre genuine in my heart and thats what really countspfffhahahahaha ok i cant type that with a straight face

[andagoodsoldier]

are you toying with my feelings? are you trying to get more sugar from this daddy? i thought you were better than that, dave, i really did.

[callbacks]

that depends
would it work

[andagoodsoldier]

you'd probably have to try it to find out.

[callbacks]

nah thats ok
you already made a generous contribution to my flashy sports car fund today
im not greedy

[andagoodsoldier]

then i look forward to more mutually beneficial transactions in the future.

Audio

[listenersgoodnight]

I cannot hand you them in-person, but I happen to have a carrier-parrot if you don't mind receiving items via that method.