voice;

[soldiers]

[ The feed clicks on with a background score of faint mutters, fading in and out as if someone's thumb was briefly pressing over the mic. ] I gotta say, this waking up in a completely different place thing is getting kinda old. [ pause. ] Not that it's happened a lot, but I figured once was more than enough. As for the idea of having been fictional before – right. Sure. Somebody really outdid themselves this time around.

Now, I'd ask if anyone's been able to find a way outta this place, but something tells me the answer would be a no. So I guess I'll just stick with an introduction.

The name's Steve Rogers. Anybody know where I can find a good gym around here?

Comments

[soldiers]

Well, there's a way to check in this case. I wasn't ever a president where you're from, was I? Or anyone other than Captain America?

[everythingspandex]

Just Captain America. Our president's never put on a spandex suit. At least not openly.

[soldiers]

Spandex? Like tights, you mean? Because I only wore those during the first USO tours.

[everythingspandex]

That's not what your merchandise says.

[soldiers]

Merchandise? They only had the comics when I was around.

[everythingspandex]

It goes so much farther than comics. You don't even know.

[soldiers]

... Should I want to?

[everythingspandex]

Mmm. No. No.

[soldiers]

Huh. Glad I asked first.

[everythingspandex]

Don't be surprised if you find a knock-off version of you as an action figure in the store though. I'm still not over Spader-man.

[soldiers]

What's the non-knock off version of Spader-man called?

[everythingspandex]

Spider-man.

[soldiers]

You know him?

[everythingspandex]

Yeaaaaah. I do know that guy.

[soldiers]

A friend of yours?

[everythingspandex]

Uh. Kind of. Not. Exactly.

[soldiers]

Acquaintance, then.