Itsuki Koizumi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dontmindmepleasecontinue) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thoughtformed2014-03-03 01:04 pm
dontmindmepleasecontinue) wrote in thoughtformed2014-03-03 01:04 pm
Entry tags:
open dream logs for Eleven & Koizumi
WHAT: dreams and nightmares
WHO: Itsuki Koizumi and the Eleventh Doctor and You!
WHEN: between 2/27 and 3/1.
NOTE: the dreams will be customized to the individual who tags in. Make a top-level comment stating whose dream you want and any preferences you may have about the dream, and I'll respond by setting the scene.
WARNINGS: triggering and content warnings for: violence, war, depression, verbal abuse, possible gore and possible mental breakdown. will edit with any further warnings.
WHO: Itsuki Koizumi and the Eleventh Doctor and You!
WHEN: between 2/27 and 3/1.
NOTE: the dreams will be customized to the individual who tags in. Make a top-level comment stating whose dream you want and any preferences you may have about the dream, and I'll respond by setting the scene.
WARNINGS: triggering and content warnings for: violence, war, depression, verbal abuse, possible gore and possible mental breakdown. will edit with any further warnings.
no subject
He reaches out towards her, leaning - and then he rushes forward with several quick steps, as if a dam had broken. Both arms extended for a comforting embrace, he moves toward...
And then right through her. When she turns, he will in fact be embracing Sheska - the Sheska that had been standing a few feet behind her. She was hugging him back fiercely, eyes scrunched shut and an expression of mixed worry and relief on her face.
There's a great exaltation to the moment, a feeling of goodness, of things being right with the world that had started when he'd laid eyes on her and crescendoed into the embrace. The anger and confusion and panic gradually fade away.
There's something about that Sheska - there's a light to her. A clarity, a focus. Everything else, the world outside the two of them, seems dim and peripheral - even when you look straight at it. It's as if the world has narrowed to the one point of contact between them - and nothing else was important.
no subject
The shock of it is a sharp slap in face, and she stumbles when the resistance she expected simply isn't there. She turns, wondering if he'd meant to do that, and the words forming on her tongue die unspoken. It's... it's her.
But she's different, somehow. Puzzled, she steps closer, trying to ascertain what's wrong. This doppleganger is the right height, and her hair is just as ruffled and untameable as her own... Her glasses are the right shape, and the sweet depth of her care shines through as clearly as she's always suspected it must. She holds him just as Sheska herself would, slender fingers clutching his shirt on the one hand and spread across his shoulder blade in an gentle fan that said so much about how she wanted to keep him close. The changeling has it down perfectly, from the outfit that so flatteringly accentuated her hips to the cute way she always wound up pressing up onto her toes a little so that she could be closer to on a level with him.
Wait. She did? It was cute? But she doesn't think that. She's never-- but he does.
It's at that moment that Sheska realizes that this is a dream. Or something like one, anyway. This is Itsuki's dream, and these are his feelings - the way he sees her. Even if it's not entirely true, not to her mind, this is what he feels for her.
A quick, bright flush suffuses her face and her ears burn, and for a moment she can't look at the two of them, standing there in such obvious appreciation and love for one another. It feels... obscene, somehow. But they draw her eye, and even as embarrassed as she is, she has to watch, yearning for such a vision to be true, instead of a fantasy brought to life.
no subject
"I was so worried when I heard your voice... but you're all right now. And so am I, thanks to you." Their faces are close, and there's nothing Koizumi would like so much as to lean in and kiss her. His love, his desire, and his admiration for her shine through and permeate the scene - so intense as to be nearly overwhelming.
Despite these, however, after a long moment where it looks like a kiss will be next, he pulls back, the determination in him harder and stronger than steel - and somehow fed from his love for her, in addition to opposing it.
No matter what their feelings, it wouldn't be fair to her to act of them. There is a quick flash of memory, as he is brought back to that night when he rejected her, knowing it would not be fair to her, always having to put her third. Even now, with Lin doing better, she would never be able to be the most important person in his life.
She deserved more than he could offer her. No matter how much it hurt to admit - and it did hurt. It was a clean hurt, though - he bore no bitterness over how things had turned out. He hid the hurt, pushed it down to keep that smile for her. He wished he could be a better friend, but even if it would never be enough, he'd do what he could for her. Always.
no subject
She finds herself leaning in a little, sure that the next moment will be a kiss, and blinks in surprise when there isn't, making a soft sound of denial and disappointment. He wants it, she can feel it - it was so close! - and she definitely wants it! She can see it in her double's face, can feel it in the sharp twist of painful wistfulness in her own chest, but... But why? Why had he leaned back instead? It wouldn't be fair? What on earth? No! Here, in dreams, if not in life, he should be able to give in to that impulse--
The flash of memory is almost like a splash of cold water in her face, and she flinches back from it. Oh... Oh they had both been hurting so much, and he... He hadn't shown her even a fraction of the depth of it, had he? She's not sure what other people he'd have to put ahead of her, if that was what she had felt there, but he had it all wrong! She wouldn't mind... There are some commitments that have to come ahead of everything else. And it was clear that whomever it was, these people would absolutely be more important than her. Which was fine, really! She isn't that important anyway, no matter how blind he was in that regard. But oh, she shouldn't have let him go that night.
Watching him smile at the other Sheska, she bit her lip. The other woman didn't know. That was clear enough in her expression. And he did such a good job of hiding it that if it hadn't been for this, she never would have known. He didn't need to smile for her.