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thoughtformed2011-06-23 01:53 am
allons_y_alonso) wrote in thoughtformed2011-06-23 01:53 am
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For there to be a subject I think I'd really have to have some idea of why I was posting this or
what I wanted to talk about. This is actually a very peculiar feeling. All sort of tingly. Like nitroglycerin on the tongue. although if that were a bad case I suppose I'd want to stop talking, in case the heat or vibration set it off. I'd just sort of sit there with my tongue lazing about, like a dog. I like dogs! Always so friendly, so protective, and very trusting. Very loyal, you can't beat a dog for loyalty. I miss K-9. Best pooch in the universe, that one! But Sarah Jane needed him more than I did. Deserved him, too. She was with me longer than anyone, before or since, Sarah was. Well. No, that would be Tegan, actually. But it felt like Sarah was there longer. Never would have left her the way I did if I'd been given more of a choice.
Actually, I suppose I actually spent more time with the Brigadier, didn't I? But that was different. I spent it with him, not he with me. Not that either of us had that much in the way of choice. I suppose I could have walked off. Driven off with Bessie, actually. Not that I really miss Bessie any more. Not nearly in my usual caliber, that one. Had to be some kind of projection or displacement or something in order for me to be that fond. Bit ridiculous. Not that being ridiculous is a bad thing! Sometimes it's the best thing! Saves your life, sure as celery or jelly babies! Hang on, though. I was talking about something. Talking about what I'm talking about. Or in this case, talking about talking about what I'm talking about, which is definitely ridiculous, not to mention recursive. I can't quite seem to stop, either. Not entirely under my control. Bit alarming. Been doing it all day. Sorry, Yosuke. For that matter, it's not just that I'm talking. It's that I'm talking about things I'd honestly rather not talk about. Or rather, talking about things I'd rather not talk about honestly. But I am, honestly, talking about them honestly. Try not to dwell on them, usually. Take how many travelling companions I've had. How many of them I've had to leave behind, or who have left me behind. Breaks my heart, every time, but otherwise I have to start thinking about things like how old I am, not that I genuinely know the answer to that question any more. I have a rough guess, of course. Still, more than a bit embarrassing. Getting a little long in the tooth. Nothing compared to Rassilon, but even as Time Lords go I'm stretching it a bit, in regenerations more than anything else. I went for the longest time without! Before I stole the TARDIS, I mean. That was a brilliant decision. Best one I ever made. Even better than if I'd shipped out with the Corsair, the way I was planning. Now there's another one I miss. One of the few Time Lords who was worth his title. Her title, actually, at the time. With that low-scooped dress, and the plunging tattoo right there in between her you know you'd think I would have been immune to that sort of thing at the time, all sedate and cantankerous the way I was. And nervous, not to mention terribly nervous all the time. Had to keep my granddaughter safe, of course, so that accounts for the nerves. And I suppose they never stopped me. Certainly didn't stop me from nearly getting married to an Aztec. She was a wonder! Far more clever than anyone in that time and place had any right to be. Pity I had to leave her behind. Pity I ever have to leave any of them behind.
I've got quite a lot of pity, actually.
Actually, I suppose I actually spent more time with the Brigadier, didn't I? But that was different. I spent it with him, not he with me. Not that either of us had that much in the way of choice. I suppose I could have walked off. Driven off with Bessie, actually. Not that I really miss Bessie any more. Not nearly in my usual caliber, that one. Had to be some kind of projection or displacement or something in order for me to be that fond. Bit ridiculous. Not that being ridiculous is a bad thing! Sometimes it's the best thing! Saves your life, sure as celery or jelly babies! Hang on, though. I was talking about something. Talking about what I'm talking about. Or in this case, talking about talking about what I'm talking about, which is definitely ridiculous, not to mention recursive. I can't quite seem to stop, either. Not entirely under my control. Bit alarming. Been doing it all day. Sorry, Yosuke. For that matter, it's not just that I'm talking. It's that I'm talking about things I'd honestly rather not talk about. Or rather, talking about things I'd rather not talk about honestly. But I am, honestly, talking about them honestly. Try not to dwell on them, usually. Take how many travelling companions I've had. How many of them I've had to leave behind, or who have left me behind. Breaks my heart, every time, but otherwise I have to start thinking about things like how old I am, not that I genuinely know the answer to that question any more. I have a rough guess, of course. Still, more than a bit embarrassing. Getting a little long in the tooth. Nothing compared to Rassilon, but even as Time Lords go I'm stretching it a bit, in regenerations more than anything else. I went for the longest time without! Before I stole the TARDIS, I mean. That was a brilliant decision. Best one I ever made. Even better than if I'd shipped out with the Corsair, the way I was planning. Now there's another one I miss. One of the few Time Lords who was worth his title. Her title, actually, at the time. With that low-scooped dress, and the plunging tattoo right there in between her you know you'd think I would have been immune to that sort of thing at the time, all sedate and cantankerous the way I was. And nervous, not to mention terribly nervous all the time. Had to keep my granddaughter safe, of course, so that accounts for the nerves. And I suppose they never stopped me. Certainly didn't stop me from nearly getting married to an Aztec. She was a wonder! Far more clever than anyone in that time and place had any right to be. Pity I had to leave her behind. Pity I ever have to leave any of them behind.
I've got quite a lot of pity, actually.
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I admit it, I thought you were better than that. Tougher. Royal blood after all, should be made of sterner stuff! Leave the easy way for the commoners! For the proud nobility of the aquatic troll, the only real option is to laugh in the face of danger! To defy death, no matter how good he would look in a hat! To... no, hang on. Running away is an awfully good option too. And all that blood dominance stuff is rubbish anyway. Still. You believe in it. Don't you at least want to be better than that?
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what about thomas?
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Oh, right, the anagrammatic alias! Swap the letters around a little, John. You said that you were a fan of my programme -- did you ever see me talk about The Master? Just a bunk down from you right now, he is. Been terribly worrying, actually, what he might do to you if he had half a mind. Don't think he's spotted any of the surveillance devices yet, though, so chances are you're perfectly safe. Er. Relatively safe.
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[ private: the doctor ]
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But no, the Master is... not a good man. A very driven man, and a very wronged man, with every right to nurse his grievances, but not to act on them the way that he has. Too many people have died for him to ever be justified. Maybe even too many for him to be redeemed.
GEE THANKS DOCTOR
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