thoughtformed | (no subject)

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-Even if our leader is swearing on )(is silly nubs t)(at )(e does not know w)(at )(appened...
I believe it goes wit)(out saying t)(at I am not t)(e -Empress.
I was never going to be!
Besides t)(e memories, w)(ic)( I can't really explain, t)(e t)(ing t)(at I s)(are wit)( )(er is a blood color.
And my lusus! Before s)(e died too.
Knowing t)(at, )(owever, and being in a w)(ole new place w)(ere I am sure t)(is was not supposed to )(appen at all...
I t)(ink w)(at I needed to say was...

I'm sorry.

PRIVATE TO ERIDAN, SOLLUX, KARKAT, ARADIA

Really sorry.

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Do not think that I cannot see your human sarcasm a MILE away, Daria!!
But you are right. Nothing makes murder all better.

Oh yes. My absurd human sarcasm. It's just this thing I like to do when people threaten to kill me. For the record, I'm not going anywhere near the ocean for the rest of my life.

I am actually agreeing with you!
Since I have explained this elsewhere, and I see you have already sorted things out with Karkat despite his dreadful and weirdly sweet shoutfest, I won't be long here.

I did not apologize with the intent of being forgiven for those murders.
Far from it, in fact!
Mostly because I am not the empress, only the abdicated empress-to-be.
I apologized to those with the memories of being wronged by the society in which these cullings would be justified.
Even if it was not "me" who killed them, I feel as though I owe them the effort of trying.
Really, that is absolutely the least of the courtesea I can show them!

And to you as well.
I'm sorry that you were threatened.

I can't say I really completely understand everything that happened, Feferi. Um ... but Karkat did sort of explain things to me in a slightly headache-inducing sort of way, and I think we've come to an understanding of sorts. I understand that you weren't yourself the last few days, and I am no longer upset about the you-who-isn't-really-you threatening to kill me.

Um, I guess what I'm trying to say is ... apology accepted?

Karkat is known for his crazy explanations of very simple things!
But this was not so simple, so I am grateful you stuck through it.
I cannot say I understand how this happened either, or why!!
I think most of us feel this way.
By all accounts, it should have been impossible.

Staying on topic, however, memories are very powerful things, I would know!!
So while I'm happy nothing bad happened to you during all this craziness, I understand what the memories you have are like.
And if you would like to hear one day, maybe I can EXPLAIN some of what Karkat talked about in a way that is less headache-inducing.

I think I'd like to hear that, Feferi. Do trolls eat pizza?

That depends!! How do you feel about ANCHOVIES? 38)

Um ... it's not my favorite kind. But we can always order pizza with anchovies on just half.

I'm okay with that.
Thank you for your newfound patience with me.

It's no problem, Feferi. I guess I kind of understand how it can be when people get the wrong idea about you.

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