thoughtformed | (no subject)

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artemis crock,
lau

(no subject)

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[voice]

I can't come in to work. Sorry.

It'll come out of your pay.

Sure, whatever. [The sound of people yelling and glass breaking is getting closer.] Gotta go.

Got any Vuitton?

Are you selling anything that might help anyone's chances of survival before the human race becomes simply another dated sequel to the dinosaurs, or is this bonanza simply the last hurrah of crass materialism?

Both?

Then I would like to immediately inquire as to what products you sell that might act as anti-meteor life preservers, or something similar in nature to that!

All?

Yes! While I might or might not buy our your entire stock is a question with more variables than any person in this situation could take the time to calculate, but certainly I would like to know the nature, usage, and price of every helpful item you're currently offering! In fact, if mine is the first such request, that would seem to be a shock on a magnitude extreme enough to be measured on the Richter scale!

If you would like to help with inventory, I'm afraid we are not currently hiring any new employees.

Then... you don't even know what products you're selling might be beneficial to the continued survival of people on the island? Were you expecting your customers to display the improvisational genius of an unlikely Scotsman working for an even more improbable charitable, humanitarian intelligence agency?

Basically.

It would be nice to have the Earl here, but we do well without him too.

Then I'm afraid I am no longer interested in making a purchase.

That's it?

It's a fire sale.

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