[001] audio;

[rule_britannia]

Well, this is just bloody brilliant.

Unless they’re lying. They could be lying. I don’t feel any different. I certainly don’t feel more sodding real than I did before… but this isn’t London. Magic, maybe? Could be. Maybe I’m dreaming. Pinching doesn’t work though so it must be one hell of a good---… Maybe I’m dead? Oh, bloody hell, what if I am dead? How the bloody fuck did that happen?!

No, no… Calm down, Arthur…

… Thinking about it, I suppose I should have expected it, if I’m honest, but who the bloody hell is going to entertain for a moment the idea that they’re fictional? The world’s always felt perfectly real to me and I… ah, bollocks… I’m not dealing with this very well...

...

I need a drink.

Comments

[icanbuyafez]

Well, that was kind of my fault. I actually married her, for a time. She... wasn't happy when I left.

[rule_britannia]

Mm.. I can imagine.. How curious that the same person appears in both our lives yet different things happened to them.

[icanbuyafez]

Yeah... That is weird. I suppose basically she is the same person from an alternate universe. Seen plenty of those before!

[rule_britannia]

I can't even begin to imagine the kinds of things you've seen.

[icanbuyafez]

I'd invite you to come with me and see them for yourself, but I rather fear that the TARDIS can only move around on the island. Seems there's some sort of force field keeping her - and the rest of us - in. She can only hop around in here because I set the parameters of the universe as the boundries of the island - and time travel is out because of the way the island is interacting with and moving through the outside world.

Still, if we ever do get off this island, you're welcome to come with me!

Ooh, if that is something you could do. I mean, if you are physically tied to the country of England, traveling back in time or to a different galaxy might have negative effects. I mean, if I went back to before you came into being, you might cease to exist! Hmm. Well, I suppose we'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it!

[rule_britannia]

... You're invitin--..

Well, bloody hell.

I'd be honoured, to hell with the risks.

[icanbuyafez]

Splendid! That's settled then. Now all we have to do is escape the island - what could possibly go wrong?

[icanbuyafez]

Still, it looks like that might be rather difficult. I haven't really had time to look around properly yet, but the other Doctor has been here for a long time, and I still haven't found a way off.

[rule_britannia]

Ah. That is something of a stumbling block, then. I would have thought that of all people...

Wait, the other..?

[icanbuyafez]

The other Doctor - my previous regeneration is here. Which is odd, because I don't remember being here when I was him, and there doesn't seem to be any tempered energy between us or between the TARDISes - which would be expected, meeting at two different points in our time stream.

[rule_britannia]

Hmm..

Perhaps this place operates outside of space-time, at least our perception of it, and should we manage to leave, we don't remember...

Well, isn't that a bloody nuisance.

[icanbuyafez]

Something like that certainly seems to be the case - I've been told I was here before, in my current regeneration, but again, I have no memory of it. Apparently, that happens with relative frequency - we can disappear without warning, as suddenly as we appeared in the first place. The officials say that they have been released when this happens, thought what that actually means is a different question altogether.

[rule_britannia]

How very odd. I can't see what the bloody use of it would be, unless this isn't reality at all.

[icanbuyafez]

Another theory right there. Like I said, plenty of those.

It all seems rather oppressive, really. At least, that's the idea I get from the other that have been here longer than I.

And apparently there are all sorts of bizarre unexplained phenomena here. Apart from anything else, I have assured myself that time is far more wibbly than it ought to be here. And everything does seem to be either specifically designed or affected by human thought - again, much like how we might have come to be in the first place. Perhaps human thought is far more powerful than I had previously believed, and I've staked my life and the fate of the universe on it before.

[rule_britannia]

I'm going to have to think more on this. I refuse to believe that this is 'reality'.

A person being fiction in someone else's world doesn't make them any less real in their own.

[icanbuyafez]

I quite agree. In fact there's nothing to say that this world isn't fictional in our worlds, and I believe our worlds could well be out there, somewhere.

My good friend Einstein - have you ever met Einstein? - proposed that no frame of reference is more valid than another. Everything is relative, and nothing is absolute. He didn't have it quite right, but it was close enough, and I figure the same principle should apply here. There is no reason that this world or any of the worlds we came from is any more or less valid than any other.

[rule_britannia]

I did meet Einstein, in fact. Interesting man. Always seemed to be wearing odd socks.

But yes, yes exactly. What a bloody relief to know that at least one person around here makes sense.

[icanbuyafez]

Einstein's brilliant! Always wanted to do everything by himself, though - very insistent on that. He, Jeff - or Santa, to everyone else, I suppose - and I have had some amazing adventures over the years.

And I'm glad we agree. I would rather hope we were all past that sort of discrimination, but apparently not.

[rule_britannia]

Things just wouldn't be the same if we all got along.

I'm sure you understand that as well as I.

[icanbuyafez]

Quite. But one can always hope.

[icanbuyafez]

You said you needed a drink, though! I've got plenty to drink in the TARDIS kitchen, if you'd care for something! Well, the one I can find anyway. Atraxian soda, Bruydac tiger-flower nectar, Torajii
punch, grape juice...

[And of course the Doctor completely misunderstands "needing a drink". Never fear, though, I'm sure he has a few bottles around somewhere that were thrown at him by major historical figures! Besides, exploring the TARDIS's supply of strange alien drinks has got to be just as good.]

((ooc: Now I'm just imagining the TARDIS kitchen - he could have stocked up 400 years ago and have nothing have gone bad yet, since we know the TARDIS can put things in a time loop, or probably stasis!))

[rule_britannia]

I had been considering something alcoholic, but that's probably not the best idea given my track record.

[He doesn't feel so bad now, in any case]

Though some of those drinks you mentioned.. I don't believe I've ever heard of anything like that.

[icanbuyafez]

Ooooh, I see. Yes, well. I have a bottle somewhere here than Napoleon threw at me. Oh, but you said that isn't the best idea, now. Never could get a taste for such beverages, myself.

Well, no, I suppose you wouldn't. Most of them are from off-world. Still edible for consumption by earthlings, though! Well, most of them...

[rule_britannia]

Napoleon, hm? I'd make sure it's not poisoned, first.

[He never had liked that man, political bias aside]

... Most of them?

[icanbuyafez]

Well, I don't think he meant for me to keep it. Then again, someone may have poisoned it intending for him to drink it. Good point.

[He's not too bad, once you get to know him.]

It's okay, I think I know which are which!