"It's the holidays, let's play nerdy games cos that'll get the ladies juiced" YOU KNOW WHAT? NO.

[reanimated]

I can't believe I have to do this.

ATTENTION
LADIES OF NEW MOORE

You may have heard of my good friend Victor. Wellllllll he's got a bit of a problem. Y'see I really hate to be the one to break the bad news, and please don't shoot the messenger here — no really, don't shoot the messenger, I haven't died in a few weeks and I'm feeling pretty great about it — but he's come down with this horrible incurable disease. I know! Depressing, right? But dry your tears and listen up. It's called terminal virginity. I believe its original name in Latin was Incurablii Lamenessus but it's been a while since I cracked open the books on that one.

Anyway it's really very tragic and if one of you fine women doesn't step up, take one for the team and GET HIM LAID soon, he's going to die alone surrounded by... what the fuck is that. A paper mache griffin?

Oh god, it's already spread to his brain. Soon enough he'll be an unshaggable vegetable!

Look, I can't stand idly by and watch this kill the poor sap. So who's going to take a gander at the Robocock and see if they like the goods?

Comments

[reanimated]

Probably helps that it regenerates every time I die.

Fine, whatever, but the first round's on you.

[subspaceflowers]

See? What'd I tell you. Not fair.

All right, all right. I can manage that. You getting any better at cocktails? I'm not doing this unless you can make something that doesn't taste like ball sweat.

[reanimated]

PLEASE, I'm a god at cocktails.

And if it turns out I'm not, there's always Connor.

[subspaceflowers]

You need to convince him to start that 'cute girls drink free' rule. I'd still make sure to tip him.

[reanimated]

I'm sure if you'd just flash him, he'd be more than happy to start that rule. After he regained consciousness.

[subspaceflowers]

What, and run the risk of you getting a look at the goods?

Nice try.

I've gotta be way drunker than that to let you have a look.