thoughtformed | First Faecast

So here's what I'm thinking. Cable TV show, probably on late at night, like on a Sunday because of all the lovin that Lady Bedazzled Box gets. Too cool for HBO though. The story of a young, hilarious yet sexy, sexy human who finds herself caught in the Fae world. Probably slow to catch on but by the time this baby gets axed it's reached Whedonesque levels of cult status. Probably even has it's own comic book series while fans rally for a movie to be made cause they just can't get enough.

I bet you McFarlane toys does a series of Kenzi figurines, available in 6 and 12 inch. Collectors items. None of this action figure shit and the cos-players? Geeks all over would be wetting themselves over the Kenzi and Bo's strutting it up in that place.

For serious? Fictional? Well I guess it beats the time I got drunk and maybe accidentally summoned a cray cray witch with a taste for jilted lovers... and by taste I mean the witch tried to eat me and not in a good way.

So anyway. A succubus, a werewolf and a siren walk into a bar... It sounds a lot like a joke but if you know somebody that fits description, could you maybe send 'em my way? Also. Anyone know where they keep the jell-o in this place? The green stuff is really good.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The three I'm looking for are though apparently I'm fresh outta luck in the friends department. Don't worry. I'll fix that. I find making friends is less about being friendly and more about informing people of the status change.

Unless they're hiding really well, they're not here.

[For some reason, the girl sounds as disappointed as if they'd been her friends, but she's taken aback by the notion of just appropriating people as friends.]

Do people let you do that? That sounds dangerous, if they don't want to be your friend.

Well that's the key see, you just don't give them a choice. They might think they don't want to be my friend but it's like that movie.

If you build it, they will come...

I prefer to think of it as; If you nag incessantly, they will cave. It's always worked for me and I'm not dead yet. Been maimed a few times but that goes with the territory.

[Kenzi all the while sounding perfectly at ease, as if this is a very logical train of thought for anyone to have.]

It sounds like a good way to get hurt. Most people don't like being hurt. Wouldn't it be easier to show them how right you are, and that they want to be your friend?

[There's a thoughtful pause while she mulls this over.]

...There's a movie about making people your friends?

No, there's a movie about dead people playing baseball...

[Kenzi sighs audibly, realizing her brand of humor gets lost here as much as it did on the Fae crowd.]

You're over-thinking it, but that's okay. Apparently I'm gonna be here a while so I'll show you how it works some time. Hurt free I swear.

...Did they bring back people from the dead to play the game?

[Why yes, she is far too stuck on this concept.]

It would be interesting to watch! I'm surprised that people would let themselves be manipulated so easily.

No they were... ghosts. That not everyone could... Yeah look it had Kevin Costner in it, what do you expect?

[Welp. This is a first. Somebody with the ability to break Kenzi's brain. Hi5!]

I prefer to think of it as gentle persuasion by way of my obvious and natural charms but... Sure, I guess manipulation works too.

No spirits came to the Samhain feast, at least not visibly. If there are any here, they're not playing games anymore. And no one named Kevin Costner has shown themselves yet.

[She seems to have lost interest the moment Kenzi mentioned it was ghosts.]

Not too many people here have charms! There should be a lot of people interested in them.

Uh- ah... Yeah that's probably good for everyone. Trust me.

[And just when Kenzi thought it couldn't get any worse.]

Wow you're, big on the literal aren't ya? [So of course she rolls with it.] Yep, that's gonna be a big money spinner for me I bet.

Literal? Is that like fictional? Because no one believes that.

I haven't seen too many open markets, but you could set up your own shop. Or maybe the big store - Juanes? - would sell them for you.

[Though you clearly can't see it there is a thumping sound, ya know, like the sound one might expect to hear if a person, say Kenzi, were to be smacking her device against her forehead...]

That... sounds like the perfect plan. I'm gonna do just that as soon as I find where this place keeps all the green jell-o.

What's jell-o?

It's sweet, gelatinous goodness... It's a food. It's...

Ohhh honey. I'm gonna need to give you some life training aren't I.

Ianto showed me hot chocolate and whipped cream... Is it like that?

It's... awesome like that? But no. Nothing like that at all.

I gotta ask. What are you exactly. Cause I've known sexually repressed little people who seemed to have more of a clue than you do, honey.

[She laughs in surprise. You are a human, aren't you? But maybe you didn't mean to be rude. A lot of people just don't know what's rude and what isn't in her home.]

I'm the guardian of this forest! But I didn't start out here. I was brought here, like you.

[Kenzi prefers to think of herself as straight to the point as opposed to rude... yeah no she's just rather rude half the time. She means well?]

So you were kidnapped like me and now you guard a forest? Are you Fae?

[Nope, not even deigning to answer that last question. It's gratifying to know that some people still remember hers, but their information is lacking if they think it's ok to start using that name.]

I was guarding my forest long before they stole me away. This one needs me, so I take care of it while we try to find a way home.

First Faecast

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