;;one | text

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Comments

[doublestripe]

I know! I'm not stupid. That part isn't a game. I have a friend with a lot of dead friends.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

None of it's a game at all. It's all very serious.

_{[Never mind that in the past he enjoyed the adrenaline rush tied to it or coming up with various strategies and tactics.]}

[doublestripe]

That's what I said!

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Okay. I'm glad you understand then!

[doublestripe]

I do! [ poor poor banned game ]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

And you understand that I'm not a video game, correct? I'm a nation.

[doublestripe]

But you're a person.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I'm both.

[rule_britannia]

He is, but I barely hear a bloody word from him.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

He's still louder than me.

[alwaysimpure]

What an honour to meet someone filled with such brilliance!

[rule_britannia]

Where do you suppose he got it from? It certainly wasn't me.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Exactly! This is of the highest honour!

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I'm not the one who raised him, so how am I supposed to know?

[rule_britannia]

You're the one who took him and trained him t-..

No, we're not having this argument again.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[Oh. You went there.]}

Yeah, and I'm sure you're aware I've come to regret that.

[alwaysimpure]

Let's grab a pint some time.

[Germans like beer, right? Even crazy ones? Especially crazy ones.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Of course! I'm for that any time!

_{[All the Germans love beer, especially this one. There's a reason why it's usually the second cheapest thing on the menus! Now he wants a beer though. A delicious (non-Bayrisch) German beer!]}

[alwaysimpure]

You know where the pub is?

[Ah, beautiful stereotypes.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[All the horrible stereotypes, he has them.]}

No! But I'm sure I can find it. I have this thing called Beerdar.

[alwaysimpure]

I have the utmost faith in you.

[doublestripe]

Hooow?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

As you should!

_{[Yeah, Gilbert is looking for that bar now. It can't be too hard to find.]}

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I don't know, magic?

[rule_britannia]

I know.