;;one | text

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Comments

[callbacks]

yeah lifes tough all around dude
for example
im a sword

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You're a sword that's somehow sentient or at least has the capabilities for communication and this is supposedly the real world.
That's rich.

[callbacks]

yeah im rolling in it
just filthy with irony here
especially since i am like what eighty percent iron now
whats steel made out of
am i even made out of steel like whats the alloy of choice for anime bullshit

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Oh shit, aren't you clever. I didn't even think swords were capable of that. And I know swords. I'm like a sword master, with all the swords I've handled back in the day.
You can't really be a sword though. If you are, you'd be a rather sorry one for not even knowing what you're composed of.
But like seriously, how are you even writing if you're a sword? Do you have arms sticking out of your hilt or something?

[callbacks]

well once upon a time sir i was a real boy just like you
or a real fictional boy
whatever
but then i came to this fucking island and woke up the other day as a hilt and half a blade
anyway the answer to everything is probably weird magic shit
welcome to new moore dude

[doublestripe]

Never heard of you.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

How.

[doublestripe]

How what?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

How could you have not heard of me? Have you ever been to school?

[alwaysimpure]

See, I figured the fictional thing made sense because I'm that brilliant. How can it be real?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

This is clearly some sort of elaborate hoax. There is no other explanation.
My existence makes sense.

[alwaysimpure]

Either way, apparently someone somewhere wrote a book I appear in and people here know about it.

It has its upsides.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

What's your name? Maybe I've heard of you. Have you heard of me?

[amberwaves]

whatever dude, nobody believes the fictional stuff anyways so don't get your panties in a bunch or anything

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Well duh. Anyone would have to be stupid to believe it!

[amberwaves]

I mean there are like, superheroes and those weird holmes dudes who aren't Robert Downey Junior or those other guys, but it turns out they were real all along in different universes or something, weird huh? [hopefully you can make some sense of that maybe.]

anyways, welcome to New Moore. England, Ukraine, and Poland are here too.





















[super pause.]

oh yeah, and Canada

[kantstoppfantstopp]

A Sherlock who isn't RDJ? So it's gotta be Hans Albers or Hugo Flink who's here.

_{[Give him a moment and ignore that he's just mentioned German and Austrian actors who played Sherlock like, a billion years ago, and that it really doesn't make sense in this context.]}

Wait.


What.

Holy shit.





How long have you even been here? _{[He swears it wasn't that long ago since he heard about/from any of you guys...]}

[rule_britannia]

Must you always be so damnably loud about everything?

[He's still a fairy. He's not happy about it.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

We're stranded in the middle of whatever this is, and all you're worried about is volume control?

[rule_britannia]

It's a constant concern when it comes to you.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Implying I'm actually the loudest, which I'm not.

[oftpartitioned]

tl;dr

[kantstoppfantstopp]

No one asked your opinion.

[oftpartitioned]

You did! By posting this public forum! its like the epitome of whoooaaaa look at me look at me im not even a country any more but ACKNOWLEDGE MEEEEEE

hahah its so pathetic its sorta cute

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Only stupid people wouldn't want to acknowledge me!
Hey remind me- how many times were you partitioned again?