;;one | text

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Comments

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I can't come up with another explanation at this point.

_{[Oh. Well. That kind of killed the mood.]}

Oh. That sucks.

[alwaysimpure]

Could've been worse.

[He has issues where family is concerned. Back on track!]

So, what's it like, being a country? Impresses women, I'd think.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Being a country is pretty fucking awesome. I mean, I'm more or less around forever! That's fucking sweet. And of course they do-- women love to get a whole lot of Prussian in them!

[alwaysimpure]

I met some German witches once. They were scary, but fit.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Of course!! All of our women are tough as nails.

[alwaysimpure]

And what about the men?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

They're all kickass too!

[alwaysimpure]

What an honour to meet someone filled with such brilliance!

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Exactly! This is of the highest honour!

[alwaysimpure]

Let's grab a pint some time.

[Germans like beer, right? Even crazy ones? Especially crazy ones.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Of course! I'm for that any time!

_{[All the Germans love beer, especially this one. There's a reason why it's usually the second cheapest thing on the menus! Now he wants a beer though. A delicious (non-Bayrisch) German beer!]}

[alwaysimpure]

You know where the pub is?

[Ah, beautiful stereotypes.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[All the horrible stereotypes, he has them.]}

No! But I'm sure I can find it. I have this thing called Beerdar.

[alwaysimpure]

I have the utmost faith in you.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

As you should!

_{[Yeah, Gilbert is looking for that bar now. It can't be too hard to find.]}

[alwaysimpure]

I'll be waiting right here, mate.

[Getting started on beer.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Okay!!

_{[It takes a bit, but finally he bounds into the bar. Another few moments, and then he finds the person he's looking for! Hopefully. Maybe.]}

You! Are you Sirius Black? You are, right? As if I could make a mistake such as misidenification!

[alwaysimpure]

[He's tempted. Oh, he is ever so tempted.

Alright. Why the hell not?]

No, I'm Mundungus Fletcher. Nice to meet you.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[Gilbert's face twists in slightly confusion. Of course, it's always possible for him to be wrong, but...]}

That's a shitty name you've got. Like literally.

[alwaysimpure]

I know. My parents hate me.

[He orders beer for them both. So, yes, Gilbert, you were right! Or people can just sense the need for beer.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[--!! He gets it. Oh god, that was a good one. He starts laughing as he sits down.]}

That's a damn shame.

[alwaysimpure]

It worked out pretty well, I hate them too.

[He's smirking now that he outed himself.]

First round's on me.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

For good reason. If it were me, I would've long since renamed myself.

Score. I'll get the one after, then.

_{[Somehow. Details aren't important.]}

[alwaysimpure]

I think this is the beginning of something wonderful.

[Cheers!]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_[Prost!]

It definitely is.