;;one | text

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Comments

[callbacks]

yeah lifes tough all around dude
for example
im a sword

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You're a sword that's somehow sentient or at least has the capabilities for communication and this is supposedly the real world.
That's rich.

[doublestripe]

Never heard of you.

[alwaysimpure]

See, I figured the fictional thing made sense because I'm that brilliant. How can it be real?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

How.

[doublestripe]

How what?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

This is clearly some sort of elaborate hoax. There is no other explanation.
My existence makes sense.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

How could you have not heard of me? Have you ever been to school?

[doublestripe]

Yeah, I go to school. You must not be all that important.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Or your school sucked. Must be that one.

[doublestripe]

Your school sucked.

[amberwaves]

whatever dude, nobody believes the fictional stuff anyways so don't get your panties in a bunch or anything

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Your face sucks.

_{[Mature response, right there.]}

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Well duh. Anyone would have to be stupid to believe it!

[amberwaves]

I mean there are like, superheroes and those weird holmes dudes who aren't Robert Downey Junior or those other guys, but it turns out they were real all along in different universes or something, weird huh? [hopefully you can make some sense of that maybe.]

anyways, welcome to New Moore. England, Ukraine, and Poland are here too.





















[super pause.]

oh yeah, and Canada

[kantstoppfantstopp]

A Sherlock who isn't RDJ? So it's gotta be Hans Albers or Hugo Flink who's here.

_{[Give him a moment and ignore that he's just mentioned German and Austrian actors who played Sherlock like, a billion years ago, and that it really doesn't make sense in this context.]}

Wait.


What.

Holy shit.





How long have you even been here? _{[He swears it wasn't that long ago since he heard about/from any of you guys...]}

[alwaysimpure]

Either way, apparently someone somewhere wrote a book I appear in and people here know about it.

It has its upsides.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

What's your name? Maybe I've heard of you. Have you heard of me?

[alwaysimpure]

Sirius Black. And maybe I have, what's your name?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

What book were you from?
My name's Gilbert Beilschmidt, also known as Prussia. Or Königreich Preußen if you want to be specific. Though even that's a bit antiquated, I'll admit.

[alwaysimpure]

Harry Potter, I believe. It's named after my godson!

[He's the proudest!]

Pretty sure I've heard of Prussia before.

Pardon, History is my weakest subject and after a certain point it's all just goblin names.

So Prussia is your nickname? [Getting used to weirdness, fast.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

RIGHT! You're the one who can turn into a dog, right? Or were you the werewolf? I watch the movies ages ago, but to be honest, sometimes I worry about what comes out of Arthur's country. It's not as disconcerting as what comes out of Alfred's, though.

_{[Consider this conversation derailed. Good job, Gilbert.]}

Of course you've heard of Prussia! And it's not a nickname--it's what I am. I'm the embodiment of the entire nation. _{[Of course, now he's just the former DDR and the personification of the east in general, BUT THERE'S NO POINT IN MENTIONING THAT.]}

Strongest, most awesome nation ever, it's me. Don't lose your head, though. I know it must be hard to be talking to someone as great as me.

[alwaysimpure]

Dog. See? By the tenth time someone tells you your life story, the fictional thing becomes less debatable.

Ah, I know Arthur. If we're talking about the same bloke.

[And then this thread of conversation is abandoned as he tries to wrap his mind around that piece of information.]

Really? That's pretty wicked.

[He's not sure if he believes it. Gilbert seems to be, well. Bonkers.]

I thought Prussia became Germany.

[doublestripe]

Your face sucks.

[ super mature mimicking. ]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

What do you think this place is, then? It's like... some sort of alternate universe thing. Fuck, we didn't get sucked into one of those wormhole things did we?

_{[He'd go on about Arthur, he really would. But you know what's better than talking about Arthur? Talking about himself.]}

Nah, man. I'm still here, aren't I? Germany is my little brother. I taught him everything he knows. Almost. You know how kids can be; you tell them one thing and then they do the opposite and fuck shit up. He's grown into a fineass man though, someone you can really be proud of. And it's all thanks to me.