;;one | text

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Comments

[doublestripe]

Your entire existence sucks.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[He hasn't even caught on that she's copying him.]}

No way! Mine is the best!

[doublestripe]

No way! Mine is the best!

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You wouldn't even be saying that if you knew anything about me.

[doublestripe]

Pfft. ~You wouldn't even be saying that if you knew anything about me.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[Now he's getting it.]}

Stop copying me!

[doublestripe]

Stop copying mee.

Took you long enough.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Did not!

[doublestripe]

Did too. You took so long my feet fell asleep.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Those two things have nothing to do with one another.

[doublestripe]

What's that? You're taking to long to speak.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I am not. Shut up.

[doublestripe]

Okay okay. I'll stop.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Good. What are you, like three?

[doublestripe]

Nine.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Close enough.

[doublestripe]

How old are you?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I stopped counting a long time ago.

_{[How he's gotta actually figure this out.]}

I don't know, at least 800. Sounds about right.

[doublestripe]

You're so oooold. No wonder I haven't heard of you.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I'm not that old! And that's all the more reason for you to have heard of me.

[doublestripe]

You're ancient. It depends. Is that in game time or real time?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

What does that even mean? Of course it's real time; life isn't a game.

[doublestripe]

Suuure it isn't.

800 is crazy though. What do you do with all that time?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

It isn't.

My activities have changed depending upon the century. There were times when I expanded territories and won wars. Nowadays that's best left to games when there's time.

[doublestripe]

Oh! Oh! I get it. World of Warcraft, right? 900 years backstory!

That's really cool.