;;one | text

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Comments

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Europe...?
Ever heard of it?

[doublestripe]

Yeah, I've heard of Europe.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I'm from the middle of it, more or less. I live in Berlin.

[doublestripe]

And you've had a lot of wars and aren't from a game? Ohh. I'm sorry.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

It happens. Usually no one minds as long as they win. It's a common theme in human history, really.

[doublestripe]

[ YOU POOR BANNED GAME ]

People like war stuff but it can really mess you up.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[KJDFHASDKJHSJG]}

It's not a game. People get hurt or die.

[doublestripe]

I know! I'm not stupid. That part isn't a game. I have a friend with a lot of dead friends.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

None of it's a game at all. It's all very serious.

_{[Never mind that in the past he enjoyed the adrenaline rush tied to it or coming up with various strategies and tactics.]}

[doublestripe]

That's what I said!

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Okay. I'm glad you understand then!

[doublestripe]

I do! [ poor poor banned game ]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

And you understand that I'm not a video game, correct? I'm a nation.

[doublestripe]

But you're a person.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I'm both.

[doublestripe]

Hooow?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I don't know, magic?