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[alwaysimpure]

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm Sirius, one of the two lovely wizards around here. Next month is the big opening of our magic shop, but today I speak on behalf of something, someone else.

See this lovely lady?

[He turns the device until it shows the moving photograph of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, how she's smiling and waving rather untypically at the camera.]



She currently doesn't have a date for New Year's Eve! It's bad enough to spend Christmas alone or, well, in the company of a drunkenly depressed friend with an odd sense of humour, but how can a gorgeous woman like that be alone for New Year's?

It'd be a crime, I'm sure you agree. She is called Anita, she can probably kick your arse the way she'll kick mine if she catches me for this, she is, as you can see, absolutely gorgeous. Add wit and charm to that and anyone who's not snatched up yet should be going after her!

However, needless to say, there are some requirements. For one, she only wants males. I'm sorry, ladies, I've been trying to convince her! For another, obviously you should be good-looking and charming and witty yourself.

She might go for the bad boys, just a bit, but doesn't everyone?

Come on, blokes, tell me if you're interested and if you meet my approval, I might be able to help set something up.

[OOC: ...marauder is doing marauding things, I suppose. Needless to say, Anita doesn't know he's doing this. That's what makes it fun.]

Comments

[animator]

Biased, are we?

[SHE SEES YOUR BIAS THERE.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Perhaps a tad, but it's perfectly valid.

[animator]

It's natural for people to feel a strong connection to their roots.

[NO IDEA YOU'RE A COUNTRY.]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

It's more than that. You could go as far as to say that the roots are me. It's a significantly close bond that many wouldn't understand.

_{[IT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER, TBH.]}

[animator]

What, are you royalty or something?

[BECAUSE WHY WOULD SHE THINK YOU WERE A COUNTRY?]

[kantstoppfantstopp]

You could say that I have really close ties to the Hohenzollerns and the predecessing Kurfürsten.

_{[He'll just keep speaking in riddles. He's having fun with this.]}

I don't know how I missed this one, I'm sorry!!

[animator]

That's pretty impressive. I'm sure the girls back home are all over that.

[Have some mild sarcasm.]

it's all good! :>

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Of course. I'm practically royalty.

_{[What is sarcasm.]}

[animator]

Ever get stalked by the paparazzi?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

_{[No, he doesn't. He's actually not cool enough. Or it's the fact that civvies don't know he's their former kingdom slash "democratic" republic.]}

All the time. Everyone's amazed that I use a shopping basket in the supermarkets too.

[animator]

Aw, just like the little people.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I even eat my currywurst with a plastic pic too!

[animator]

Incredible, it's almost like you're human just like the rest of us.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Almost, but not quite human. But close enough is usually good, right.

[animator]

Usually. Depends. I've met some not-quite-humans that are pretty alright, though, as well as plenty who weren't exactly model citizens. It's a mixed bag.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

I'm definitely in the model-citizen variety.

[animator]

Most people have that kind of high opinion of themselves.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

If I wasn't, I wouldn't be continue to be around, honestly.

[animator]

Are you always so enigmatic?

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Not always. If you have questions you can ask them! I might possibly answer them.

[animator]

Well, if you want to swing the odds in your favor, you're going to have to be a little more forthcoming. Girls like a guy who's open and charming.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Okay, okay. I'll feed you, baby bird. I'm Prussia.

[animator]

Seriously? Your name is Prussia?

Cruel parents.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

It's more of an earned title. In my Golden Age, I was the Kingdom of Prussia.

[animator]

You're kidding. Right? That makes no sense. And I raise zombies for a living, so consider the source.