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[alwaysimpure]

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm Sirius, one of the two lovely wizards around here. Next month is the big opening of our magic shop, but today I speak on behalf of something, someone else.

See this lovely lady?

[He turns the device until it shows the moving photograph of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, how she's smiling and waving rather untypically at the camera.]



She currently doesn't have a date for New Year's Eve! It's bad enough to spend Christmas alone or, well, in the company of a drunkenly depressed friend with an odd sense of humour, but how can a gorgeous woman like that be alone for New Year's?

It'd be a crime, I'm sure you agree. She is called Anita, she can probably kick your arse the way she'll kick mine if she catches me for this, she is, as you can see, absolutely gorgeous. Add wit and charm to that and anyone who's not snatched up yet should be going after her!

However, needless to say, there are some requirements. For one, she only wants males. I'm sorry, ladies, I've been trying to convince her! For another, obviously you should be good-looking and charming and witty yourself.

She might go for the bad boys, just a bit, but doesn't everyone?

Come on, blokes, tell me if you're interested and if you meet my approval, I might be able to help set something up.

[OOC: ...marauder is doing marauding things, I suppose. Needless to say, Anita doesn't know he's doing this. That's what makes it fun.]

Comments

[brotimaeus]

nice knowing you bro.

[alwaysimpure]

I can apparate, it's fine.

Plus, she likes me.

[brotimaeus]

sure.
likes you enough to give you a quick death.

[animator]

He's dead.

[brotimaeus]

do you need help hiding the body.

[Text]

[animator]

SIRIUS BLACK. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

[Video. He can't text.]

[alwaysimpure]

Weeding out the weak!

[Video] She'll switch, for him. Now he can see how FURIOUS she is.

[animator]

[In fact, not only is she furious, but blushing bright right. Being so pale, it really shows.]

I hope you can apparate faster than a bullet can fly, Black.

[sunflowersister]

Well isn't that kind of you!

[alwaysimpure]

Isn't it just?

I'm a very nice bloke when you get down to it, really.

[kantstoppfantstopp]

Hot damn. I can assure you there's no one badder or awesomer than me.

[alwaysimpure]

I know that! The question is whether you can make her see that.

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[Koizumi's trying so hard not to crack up right now. He's mostly failing.]

So, how do you plan on spending your final day on Earth?

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

Such little confidence!

[Text]

[you_have_heart]

I am acquaintances with Anita. If no one else suitable applies I would take her on this 'date'

[Text]

[animator]

And here I thought you would be too dignified for this.

[Video because wizard]

[alwaysimpure]

If she'll have you, maybe you should.

Loki, right? I hope your intentions are honourable.

[mindoirsurvivor]

If you decide to turn yourself in before she hunts you down, I can promise police protection.

[alwaysimpure]

That's alright. I can handle her.

But thank you for your concern.

[animator]

Are you with me or against me, boss?

[audio]

[librariansheart]

S-Sirius! That's really-- [She's not sure what it is, but she knows she would be mortified if someone did this for her.]

[audio]

[alwaysimpure]

Hm?

Oh, sorry, love. I can do one for you next?

[geminated_man]

That lovely bird still available for New Year's shenanigans? Always lookin' for drinkin partners.

[animator]

Sorry, I don't drink.

[alwaysimpure]

Don't think she's much of a drinker, but if you can talk to a woman when sober you might have a shot.