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[alwaysimpure]

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm Sirius, one of the two lovely wizards around here. Next month is the big opening of our magic shop, but today I speak on behalf of something, someone else.

See this lovely lady?

[He turns the device until it shows the moving photograph of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, how she's smiling and waving rather untypically at the camera.]



She currently doesn't have a date for New Year's Eve! It's bad enough to spend Christmas alone or, well, in the company of a drunkenly depressed friend with an odd sense of humour, but how can a gorgeous woman like that be alone for New Year's?

It'd be a crime, I'm sure you agree. She is called Anita, she can probably kick your arse the way she'll kick mine if she catches me for this, she is, as you can see, absolutely gorgeous. Add wit and charm to that and anyone who's not snatched up yet should be going after her!

However, needless to say, there are some requirements. For one, she only wants males. I'm sorry, ladies, I've been trying to convince her! For another, obviously you should be good-looking and charming and witty yourself.

She might go for the bad boys, just a bit, but doesn't everyone?

Come on, blokes, tell me if you're interested and if you meet my approval, I might be able to help set something up.

[OOC: ...marauder is doing marauding things, I suppose. Needless to say, Anita doesn't know he's doing this. That's what makes it fun.]

Comments

[Video]

[animator]

Twice, one of them upside the head.

It is not!

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

...what about the other?

That's a great rebuttal, now I'm convinced.

[Video]

[animator]

I haven't decided about the other, but I've always been a big fan of the shoulder-punch.

Why the hell would I be interested in anyone who answered an ad like this? I don't need to be sold like some lame product on a late-night infomercial.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

No idea what an infomercial is, but there is no selling going on here!

I'm just letting people know you're interested because you'd never let them know.

[Video]

[animator]

But I'm not interested. Don't you think these things should happen naturally?

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

These things don't happen for me, so what do I know.

This way is fun and you might have a date for New Year's?

[Video]

[animator]

... fine. If anyone answers, I'll go out with them on New Year's. Just to shut you up, mind you. But that's it. Just that one night.

And they're not touching me.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

I'd not make you go out with someone you didn't want touching you!

[Video]

[animator]

It's not about the who, it's about personal standards. I don't get handsy on the first date.

Or in this case, first and only date.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

Maybe there'll be a second date!

[Video]

[animator]

You're really optimistic about this.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

When they don't end up ruining my life and killing my friends, my ideas have a high success rate.

[Video]

[animator]

Now you're trying to make me feel bad about being pissed off! It won't work.

[Yes, it will.]

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

What if I bought you coffee?

[Video]

[animator]

That's cheating.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

Marauder!

[Video]

[animator]

FINE. Coffee, and I get to hit you twice, and I'll do this thing. Done deal.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

Where do you want to meet, love?

[Video]

[animator]

Feel like staying in? I'm not sure I want to watch these replies come in -- if you get any -- out in public. You could apparate to get the coffee, right? Use your handy wizard tricks?

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

No problem. What coffee do you want? And anything else, while I'm out?

[Video]

[animator]

Large, two sugars, one cream today.

And chocolate biscotti.

Thanks so ever, love.

[Picking up Sirius speech, yup.]

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

[He doesn't even notice.]

I'll be there in a bit.

Wait. What's your address?

[Video]

[animator]

South 305. I'll leave the door unlocked.

[Action]

[alwaysimpure]

[He just apparates right into her living room, holding her coffee.]

He's hiding as a pet rat?!

[He got spoilers again. ...so very sorry.]

[Action]

[animator]

[She covers her mouth to try and stifle a laugh. That's heavy stuff for him. She doesn't want to make light of it, but his entrance was pretty comical. Once she's composed, which only takes a moment, she shows her face, nodding to confirm.]

Afraid so.