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[Given the fact that some seem to be compelled to send out city-wide texts in this time of strange over-sharing, Loki decides it's time for a go. He isn't affected in the slightest, but he wouldn't be Loki if he couldn't pretend a little.]

Thor, it was me who helped the ogres take Mjolnir. It was also my idea to dress you as a woman to get it back, not Heimdall. I knew at least seven different ways we could have gotten it back without you putting on Mother's dress.

...

Damn.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My talent for shapeshifting is only matched by my talent to weave pleasing lies. I have often taken the form of a woman to achieve my ends.

Damn you to the fiery depths of Muspelheim, Black.

Oohhh, touchy today? Your time of the month?

You don't need to damn me to anywhere, it's been taken care of.

No, I have never been in female form long enough to menstruate. And what know you of the female reproductive cycle?

Oh, I think could find many places to damn you were we not on this island.

More than you'd think. I spend time researching all kinds of moon-related cycles.

Were we not on this island, I'd be damned to the worst place there is, so take solace in that.

Twat.

Really now? Such as what?

Imbecile.

You should ask just about everyone else. They've read the books.

[But, well, honesty is on and so he can't actually keep himself from answering and it's not quite worth silencing himself again.]

I come from a prison guarded by creatures that slowly drain you of every happy memory, of everything that makes you who you are until they finally decide to end it and suck out your soul.

Git.

Ah, yes, the werewolf. [It's honestly a guess. A very well thought out guess, but a guess no less.]

A prison you say? What crime have you committed to be in such a place?

Clod.

What werewolf? [He honestly has no idea what werewolf he's talking about, so that will do well enough.]

I was imprisoned for killing thirteen people and for betraying two of my best friends to someone who killed them.

[That is what he was imprisoned for, anyway.]

Wanker.

Oh my that is rather serious, and does not exactly seem in your character.

The killing perhaps, I know little of you in that regard, but you do not seem the backstabbing type.

Bungler.

[...give him some time to get over how Loki apparently trusts him more than...well, anyone else he knows back home, pretty much.]

The evidence was very clear.

Tosser.

[He's a good judge of character. Much better than mortals, but then he's had a bit more practice.]

Evidence can be falsified.

Foozle.

[It still surprises him. He's not used o being trusted, not anymore, and Loki doesn't even know these books.]

That it can. I'd not think you'd be the type to give me any credit.

Knob.

False accusation and perception a person's character are two of my specialties. I am not horribly fond of you, but that does not cloud my judgement of your character.

[To bad he can't say that about everyone *coughTHORcough*]

Lummox.

I see. That's worth a lot, actually.

And you're right.

[Here, have some truth as a reward. Next let's bond over siblings!]

Chuffer.

So you did not betray your friends, but did you kill those people?

Coccydynia.

No. I've never killed anyone.

Ponce.

Well then, I see no reason you should lie about that, especially here.

Feist.

Most people hear have read the books apparently written about it, anyway. I was just seeing how far I can stretch the truth.

Nitwit.

The truth very seldom escapes me.

Dunderhead.

Interesting. Somehow I had doubted that you make use of it that often yourself.

Pillock.

How so?

Witling.

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