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[you_have_heart]

[Given the fact that some seem to be compelled to send out city-wide texts in this time of strange over-sharing, Loki decides it's time for a go. He isn't affected in the slightest, but he wouldn't be Loki if he couldn't pretend a little.]

Thor, it was me who helped the ogres take Mjolnir. It was also my idea to dress you as a woman to get it back, not Heimdall. I knew at least seven different ways we could have gotten it back without you putting on Mother's dress.

...

Damn.

Comments

audio; maybe one day he'll bother learning how to text

[alwaysimpure]

Puzzling.

Why didn't you wear the dress?

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[you_have_heart]

Because I have a talent for manipulation and it was Thor's hammer that got lost. It did not take much to convince everyone that it should be he to don the dress.

I did put on a pleasing female form to act as his hand maiden, though.

[All things that could be learned in any mortal book of mythology.]

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[alwaysimpure]

[One of these days he'll have to study up on mythology more.]

I have a hard time imagining you putting on a pleasing anything.

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[you_have_heart]

My talent for shapeshifting is only matched by my talent to weave pleasing lies. I have often taken the form of a woman to achieve my ends.

Damn you to the fiery depths of Muspelheim, Black.

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[alwaysimpure]

Oohhh, touchy today? Your time of the month?

You don't need to damn me to anywhere, it's been taken care of.

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[you_have_heart]

No, I have never been in female form long enough to menstruate. And what know you of the female reproductive cycle?

Oh, I think could find many places to damn you were we not on this island.

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[alwaysimpure]

More than you'd think. I spend time researching all kinds of moon-related cycles.

Were we not on this island, I'd be damned to the worst place there is, so take solace in that.

Twat.

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[you_have_heart]

Really now? Such as what?

Imbecile.

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[alwaysimpure]

You should ask just about everyone else. They've read the books.

[But, well, honesty is on and so he can't actually keep himself from answering and it's not quite worth silencing himself again.]

I come from a prison guarded by creatures that slowly drain you of every happy memory, of everything that makes you who you are until they finally decide to end it and suck out your soul.

Git.

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[you_have_heart]

Ah, yes, the werewolf. [It's honestly a guess. A very well thought out guess, but a guess no less.]

A prison you say? What crime have you committed to be in such a place?

Clod.

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[animator]

I feel you would have been more convincing in a dress than Thor ever could be.

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[you_have_heart]

Thank you, my dear, but the point was to humiliate him. Ogres are very easily fooled, so it was not hard.

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[animator]

I don't really think it was a compliment, but hey, if that's how you want to take it. Did he even have the good sense to be humiliated?

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[you_have_heart]

I can find compliments in many things.

Yes, he was mortified. The Warriors 3 still to this day do not let him forget it.

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[animator]

Mission accomplished, then! Although, now that the cat's out of the bag, do you ever think you'll be able to get him to give a repeat performance?

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[you_have_heart]

He is none to bright, I have no doubt if I put my mind to it I could.

Of course I can always simply magic him into the dress.

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[animator]

Such a charitable brother! Family reunions must be hysterical with you around.

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[you_have_heart]

The only thing we had close to the family reunions mortals have was the annual hunt. They took me along because I was the only one who could cook edible food in the dead of winter over a camp fire.

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[animator]

Hey, that's a useful skill. Women love a guy who cooks.

[sunflowersister]

Oh goodness, so some of Denmark's and Norway's old stories are true after all! That's pretty cute...

[you_have_heart]

It was not so much cute as it was hilarious.

[sunflowersister]

No reason it can't be both! It actually reminds me a little of how fussy my own brother would get when he got his clothes dirty and had to wear mine while I washed them...

[you_have_heart]

Oh that is amusing. I do wish I had something to take pictures with. at the time.

[sunflowersister]

Isn't that always the case!

I'm trying to think of a way to ask what other silly pranks you pulled without forcing you to answer...

[you_have_heart]

Perhaps when all of this blows over?

Though There were several instances of mysterious dancing boars at Thor's birthday feasts.