[voice] .06

[cueball]

[Scratch rarely goes on the network without texting, but in this case he's not feeling well enough to do much typing. So instead everyone gets to hear a very ill sounding First Guardian and all his other worldly slight echo-ing voice glory.]

McCall, don't mind half of the apartment being partially destroyed. I'll fix it when I'm not teetering on the edge of destru...destru--aa...






[And yes that was an incredibly loud sneeze, mixed in with what sounded like a crackle of electricity, a quick vibration and the faint sound of lightning in the background. About a few seconds afterward Scratch will talk again.]

...Excuse me. [Always got to be POLITE about destroying shit.] There goes the sofa. I'll fix that as well. I never gotten sick before, so pardon me if I cause anymore damage. I can be fairly dangerous by way of existence when I'm not in stable condition and my energy begins to spike wildly. You'll have to live with the risk of possibly exploding. Again, I can fix it later when I'm no...not si...sic--



[And then he sneezes again and once more the sound of something BURSTING INTO FLAMES can be heard in the background.]

...Excuse me. I hope you didn't want to use the table for anything.

[He knows you're in your room McCall, he just doesn't want to go in there because he might sneeze and accidentally kill you SORRY THAT YOU LIVE WITH A SICK DEMI-GOD.]

Comments

[dontmccallmyname]

i thought iw was hallucinatin g the explosions,

[voice, bc text isnt gonna work]

[dontmccallmyname]

[AWFUL COUGHING GREETS YOU.]

Are you gonna need [more coughing] help with anything?

[cueball]

No you weren't...stay inside your room. I'm not safe to be around in my condition.

[voice]

[dontmccallmyname]

I don't [throat clearing, which devolves into another coughing fit. there's no way to win here.] really think I can move anyway.

[he takes a deep breath, or tries to, because it sets him off sneezing. there's a lot of pained sniffling after.]

So we've got that covered.

[voice]

[cueball]

[Ugh.]

Do humans really sound like that when sick? You sound despicable.

[Seriously he feels sick just listening to you.]

[voice]

[dontmccallmyname]

It's not usually [cough cough] this bad?

[a very attractive snot filled snort. sorry.] Or maybe it is. My mom's a nurse.

[voice]

[cueball]

[Yuck.]

You sound like death. A very sick death.

[voice]

[dontmccallmyname]

I feel like it too.

[could it be. a message not interrupted by coughing? just kidding. maybe come into his room to blow him up so death is quicker.]

[voice]

[cueball]

[Everyone would get pissy and start trying to kill him again like the amateurs they are Scott. It's too annoying to deal with when he's ill.]

Stay inside and don't go out of yo...yo--

[cueball]

[And boom goes the bookshelf.]

[cueball]

...Room.

[SIGH.]

[dontmccallmyname]

Was that the bookshelf??

[dontmccallmyname]

You know what, I think you're right. Staying in my room is a pretty good idea.

[callbacks]

ha ha

[cueball]

Don't make me sneeze in your general direction. I'm not responsible for any damage I might cause in this state.

[callbacks]

dont mind me im not even here
just off minding my own business soaking up the beautiful glow of comeuppance

[cueball]

Funny.

You do realize I could destroy half the island in this state against my will. This isn't a joke.

[callbacks]

we could transport you into the ocean
waters a force dampener right
would that make you feel better mr sicky poo

[cueball]

No that wouldn't work at all. I could send millions of jolts of electric energy the entire ocean with just a sneeze. Please stop making up these horrible ideas.

[callbacks]

we could probably put you in the upper atmosphere instead
any idea how high you might have to be
because john would probably be happy to provide a public service
hes a real civic minded guy

[cueball]

Please shut up.

[HE HAS NO ENERGY TO TALK TO CONTINUE THIS STUPID DISCUSSION.]

[callbacks]

youll be in my thoughts douchecanoe

[cueball]

I swear, I think you want me to explode and kill poor McCall who is sick in bed.

[callbacks]

you wont

[cueball]

Are you sure? I feel like I might be sneezing any time now.

[callbacks]

we both know that if you did id go back and drag him out of harms way
im already running hella loops to take care of people and keep the business going one mores not gonna be a federal issue

[cueball]

You must think you're standing up to me with that, but I would appreciate that actually. There's honestly no telling whether or not I might explode at this rate. My energy keeps spiking rapidly because I'm out of a stable state of being.

I'm not fond of the idea of random acts of murder. That would be more along the lines of my Master's taste.

[callbacks]

seriously
why dont we relocate you instead
that way the innocent homecoming king keeps his bed and you get a relaxing exile to a deserted beach where the only things you can accidentally deep fry are sand and clams

[cueball]

No.

I can handle myself and if you try anything, I will make you sorely regret it. Consider that a warning.

[maiditoutalive]

but youre a cueball puppet

[cueball]

I am aware of that.

[maiditoutalive]

and you dont have an immune system
or blood

[hypertoxic]

[ just. just cruel laughter over here. meenah's gotten to her by now so it is nasally cruel laughter, but it is cruel laughter nonetheless. ]

[cueball]

I will sneeze on everything you love and consequentially destroy it.

[Don't tempt him Vriska, he is not in a good mood.]

[hypertoxic]

Weakslime. [ She coughs. ] I don't think you're doing much of anything right now!

[cueball]

Don't underestimate me. I can still come up with enough energy to control myself for short periods of time. I will sneeze and if you are in my crossfire then it is your own fault.

[hypertoxic]

Whatever. Empty threats. [ Sneeze. ] You're just irritable because you're stuck feeling sick like the rest of us!

[fuckincakewake]

lol
no nurse ro-lal 4 u

[cueball]

No offense Roxy, but I wouldn't trust you with any medical equipment or my well being for that matter.

[fuckincakewake]

thats cold
im accredited as any other gurl ina nurses cosplay

[cueball]

Which means no credit at al...all...



[WHOOPS there goes the fridge. Hope Scott didn't want to eat or anything.]

[fuckincakewake]

yah cuz ur doin just great on ur own

[trytryagain]

You should be transported to an isolated location where you cannot cause damage.

[cueball]

You should stop making comments about deporting the sick. I can handle myself just fine thank you.