(no subject)

[veryproud]

We're having an assembly about alcoholism and how to cure a hangover at school today.

Please be sure to go. Attendance will be taken and vomit-bags will be provided.

Comments

[quarkylass]

do we HAVE to go???
im so sleepy
and my head hurts....

[veryproud]

Just humor us and sleep in your seat.

[quarkylass]

but thats so rude.....
uuuugh i dont know if i ever want alcohol ever again
i wasnt expecting my orange juice to turn into alcohol :(
it was awful

[veryproud]

It's not rude unless you snore and drool.
A truly terrible weekend for all who don't drink.

[quarkylass]

of course i wont drool!
that would be suuuuuper rude
i will try to stay awake the best i can i guess

it was awful
i dont even like alcohol that much :(

video

[alwaysimpure]

I sell hangover cures at my shop, speaking of.

video

[veryproud]

What's in your cures?

video

[alwaysimpure]

I have different varieties, but most are potions and I'm not familiar with the mu... Erm. Layman's terms for the ingredients. They are plant-based though, herbs and the like. Things that can be found in the forest.

video

[veryproud]

You didn't have to go into layman's terms. Those would be nice and helpful.

video

[alwaysimpure]

I didn't know you knew much about potion brewing, sorry. I'll just have some delivered to school then?

[Locked]

[tookthename]

Need a speaker?

[Locked]

[veryproud]

We could always use speakers if you'd like to offer words on the matter.

[Locked]

[tookthename]

Only if you think it'd be a good idea for the students to hear how their gym teacher's a recovered alcoholic

[Locked]

[veryproud]

Only if you think it would help. You can speak without referring to yourself, if you'd like.

[Locked]

[tookthename]

That would probably be best.

[maiditoutalive]

wont the smell of vomit in a bag make people vomit more

[veryproud]

We'll include noseplugs.

[maiditoutalive]

is there anything you dont think of

[veryproud]

I try to cover every scenario.

[maiditoutalive]

do you get special training on how to do that

[veryproud]

I have a doctorate in it. Technically.

[maiditoutalive]

wait
really or did you just make that up

[veryproud]

What do you think?

[maiditoutalive]

i think i come from a planet where you can get culled for writing troll law and order fanfiction
if its bad
so its not impossible for it to be a real thing

[veryproud]

It's a real thing.

[maiditoutalive]

can i see it

[veryproud]

My fanfiction?

I don't have my degree in preparedness with me, sadly.

[maiditoutalive]

oh thats a bummer
but i will gladly accept your fanfiction

[veryproud]

Am I going to get culled if its bad?
It's not but I thought I'd ask.

[maiditoutalive]

i promise not to cull you no matter what its like or what its about

[veryproud]

Oh good.

I suppose if I don't share it someone's going to rummage through my office until it is found. No harm done.
I'll email you a few.

[maiditoutalive]

and i will happily send you my indiana jones stories in exchange

[veryproud]

Indiana Jones? I'd happily accepted that exchange.

[maiditoutalive]

good
otherwise i would have had to submit an inquiry into your taste
who doesnt like indiana jones

[veryproud]

Nazis.

[veryproud]

Indiana Jones is an admirable hero.

[maiditoutalive]

and he looks good in a hat too

[veryproud]

Harrison Ford looks good in anything really.

[maiditoutalive]

now i understand why everybody feels so comfortable talking to you
you understand everything

[veryproud]

That must be it.
There's no limit to my understanding.

[maiditoutalive]

but thats a good thing
i am sure a lot of people need that

[fuckincakewake]

i guess i can wing somethin inspirational

[veryproud]

Any inspirational words you can offer would be appreciated.

[hypertoxic]

8lugh.
Ok. Sure. Whatever. If a hangover is what this is and you know how to cure it then fine. I'll come.
This suuuuuuuucks.

[veryproud]

It does indeed suck. The weekend was harsh.

[notjohnsmith]

Are the vomit bags for existing conditions, or because the assembly itself is likely to require them?

[veryproud]

Both.

[notjohnsmith]

...Well, at least you're honest about it.

[veryproud]

Everybody deserves a fair warning about this sort of thing.