text;

[ohmycod]

aight bottomfeeders open your spongeclots or whatever hearin organs you got

now that all of you arent sick from the sopored up shit everyfin turned into i wanted to announce

i recently came into possession of a whale lot of glubbin cake

dont axe how

[ That is not a sketchy way of wording it. ]

i aint gonna eat all this myself so come and get it

[ This is her plan to get to see if people actually would like her cooking...without mentioning that she baked any of it herself. At least then if the tasteless aliens don't like it she can feign total ignorance as to the identity of the mysterious baker culprit. ]

Comments

[ohmycod]

places
also no refunds

[callbacks]

who said anything about refunds
theres clearly a place out there needs my patronage
im going to want another one of these red ones

[ohmycod]

seariously???

[callbacks]

im a seven and a half sweep old human male
if i dont eat my body weight in junk food daily ill grow up stunted

[ohmycod]

ok so do you like the shit or are you just a baleen whale sucking up whatever comes close
like
would you shell out dough for it

[callbacks]

i dont know
whats the asking price
also arent baleen whales incapable of eating cakes by virtue of being baleen whales and not having teeth and shit

[ohmycod]

dont go tryin to critique my puns
point is baleen whales are fatasses that eat whatever happens to float into their maw
which also describes you
so im sticking with the metaphor suck it

also like idk a hundred bucks
would you pay a hundred bucks for that cake

[callbacks]

ok no im not paying a hundred bucks for anything i put in my stomach
who does that when they could buy a burrito for like four dollars from a food truck and call it a day
i would pay a normal cake price for the cake
maybe slightly higher if it was definitely freshly baked

[ohmycod]

are you sayin it didnt taste freshly baked