Gwen Stacy (
arachnologist) wrote in
thoughtformed2013-07-12 12:24 am
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... okay, this is -- not okay. At all. This is -- you can't take me away from my dad's funeral and tell me I'm not -- not real, what is....
This is insane. This is the--
No. I'm not okay with this and I don't want to stay here. Do you understand that I have-- places to be? My family --
... no, okay. Fine. I can deal with this. If I have to, I will. So. [ DEEP BREATH. ] My name is Gwen. Gwen Stacy. If we're all -- fictional, I can only assume it's possible that people I know have been brought here too and told the same thing. So, iiiiif my name is familiar to you? Now's the time to say so. Otherwise?
[ DEEPER BREATH. ]
I'm. Going to go sit down. Somewhere. If anyone needs me, I'll just be. Yeah. So. Thanks.
This is insane. This is the--
No. I'm not okay with this and I don't want to stay here. Do you understand that I have-- places to be? My family --
... no, okay. Fine. I can deal with this. If I have to, I will. So. [ DEEP BREATH. ] My name is Gwen. Gwen Stacy. If we're all -- fictional, I can only assume it's possible that people I know have been brought here too and told the same thing. So, iiiiif my name is familiar to you? Now's the time to say so. Otherwise?
[ DEEPER BREATH. ]
I'm. Going to go sit down. Somewhere. If anyone needs me, I'll just be. Yeah. So. Thanks.
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Looking at him -- hurts, he's not alone in that, it's keen and terrible because he-- ]
You--
[ Her voice chokes, and she throws both hands in the air in a controlled yet supremely frustrated gesture, standing abruptly. ]
No. I'm not doing this here. [ She marches over to him and wheels him out the door, calling a "Sorry, Tim!" over her shoulder as she goes. She drags him outside, just far enough to be out of earshot of the door, before she, you know -- lets go and turns to face him. ]
You weren't there. [ Tears, no, tears, don't cry-- she's not crying but her eyes are wet ] You weren't at the funeral. I was looking for you and you weren't-- the entire department came, everyone came but you, Peter. Why?
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I- Hmm. [ He's biting his lip and hanging his head, shaking it. No no no. He couldn't go. Well, he did. He still watched but he promised. She wasn't allowed to see him there. He isn't even supposed to be talking to you right now but he had to make sure she was okay. ] I just-
No- I can't do this. [ Maybe he should u-turn. He almost goes to but he hesitates and ends up staring at her feet again. Can't stay here. Can't leave her alone. Is this even safe? This seems so unsafe. This isn't fair. ] Mmhm. [ More head shaking. ]
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In fact, she does just that. She turns on her heel and paces away from him. But. half-afraid he'll use the moment to disappear, she only takes three steps before turning around again. ]
... did he say something to you?
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'Gwen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' He can't even get that out. Not that it would do any good. Sorry doesn't fix the issue. He knows that. And there she goes. His heart sank when she turned a heel --but then she stopped. And he panics. Inwardly.
Her dad said a lot in so little words. He looks at her then looks away quickly balling one of his hands up. It gives it away, probably. She figured it out, didn't she? Of course she did. She's so smart. So so smart... Smarter than him.
A nod. Sorry, Captain Stacy. ]
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He told you to stay away from me.
[ She presses curled fingers to her lips, head down, other arm tucked protectively across her chest, then flicks her gaze up at him again. ]
So that's ... that's it. Is that-- [ She corrects her stance, straightening her shoulders, her face hard. ] --is that it, Peter?
[ Is that all. Are we done here. ]
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But. But. Peter makes very vague gestures to the surrounding area while watching his own feet.
His shoes are untied. ]
He-- but it's kind of... [ MOTIONS. He twirls his finger around. This place. You get what he's trying to say? ] I can't just-
No.
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[ She stops and has to shut her eyes and look away because god no this is not okay her dad's still dead and--
And now she's crying. She's been trying so hard. All day. Don't cry. Peter, here, refusing-- she's not even sure what, what is he even trying to say, but his presence makes it so much more real, because--
Because if her father told Peter to stay away from her, then it was probably one of the last things he ever said. ]
You can't what. [ Her voice is now thick with tears. ] Tell me.
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His hand reaches out like he wants to wipe the tears off her face but she's a step out of reach. He drops his hand limply and goes back to keeping his eyes focused on the floor. ]
I can't-... [ He can't be near you. He promised. ] I'm not good for you. [ But he showed up anyway. What an idiot, he thinks. ]
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What about what I think, Peter? How about asking me that?
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Of course her opinion matters. It wasn't about that it's safer without him. ]
But it- [ Don't tell her what to do, Peter. ] Sorry.
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[ Her voice hews rough again, and she reaches up to rub at her face, brushing the tears away with angry purpose.
Her hands are shaking. ]
I'm -- I'm not forcing you. I am not -- I have more pride than that. God. That's. That's all I had to say.
[ She turns her back on him. Unless he stops her, she will walk away without another word. ]
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Then he's doing a little jog to catch up to her. He doesn't stop her but he walks next to her. Mentally cursing himself out. Internal screaming. ]
I broke it. I read the other comments and you were okay and I could've not said anything but then I did it and I'm an idiot and I showed up anyway. I couldn't keep away and again, I'm awful, but you know that so. I'm-- Here. Hi.
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But then she hears....
And then he's there. And she's staring at him, wan and aching, eyes wide and wet and eyebrows drawn up. ]
... you're here.
[ Wordlessly, she reaches out to take his hand, threading their fingers and gripping tightly as she leans her head on his shoulder. She doesn't even stop walking. She just leans against him as they go. ]
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He grips her hand back. He was almost worried she'd turn him away but no that's... that's stupid. He leans his head on top of hers for a moment then looks ahead. Where are they even going? Guess it didn't matter right now. ]
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Honestly, she was going to head back to the hotel, but now she doesn't care. They could go anywhere. The weight of everything - being ripped from her home, her dad's death, dopplegangers, strange new places where all the old rules didn't apply - is settling down on her shoulders and making her stomach turn sour.
But Peter's here. Not only won't she have to do this alone - but she won't have to do it while, while keeping him away, while harboring fury and endless hurt over, over-- ]
Hey.
[ She finally stops them, after several moments of walking in silence, and looks up at his face. God, everything, everything-- she hurts. Wordlessly she lets go of his hand so she can wrap her arms around his neck instead and hold him tight. ]
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He's fine with walking in silence. Being with his thoughts alone isn't anything new. ...Minus the alone part. This is better. So much better. He thinks it makes her feel better.
But. There's always a but. He's guilty. It's eating away at him. Would the other Peter break that promise? His Gwen and him seem to still talk. They aren't an item anymore though. Just friends. Or maybe they hadn't talked at all before coming here. Actually other Peter apparently had like four girlfriends which beats him out ridiculously-- not that he wants others. He just wants the one. Maybe he shouldn't even bother thinking about it. What a massive failure at everything he is in comparison. Bet that other Peter never got his girlfriend's father killed. Or caused a man to go insane. Or lizards. Or caused the death of Un- Gwen stopped moving. ]
Hey.
[ He snapped out of the line of thought to look at her. Don't say hey back you moron. God. This is the worst month. He wrapped his arms around her back tightly. He kissed the top of her head. How do you fix any of that? You can't. ]
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And she loves him for all of these things. Not for bone-headedly trying to keep her safe.
Right now she's just trying to keep her head above water. Process this new world, the clones, her father's death, and Peter nearly rejecting her over a deathbed promise. Gwen sighs against him, breath shuddering, and lifts her face to nose at the curve of his neck. ]
You are never doing that to me again. Never. Not without talking to me about it first.
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I won't. Never. That... I'm sorry. Talking first. Not that we would ...about that. Ever.
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[ She says the word against his skin, on half a sigh. There's no real force behind it. She already knows he means it. But extra reassurances can't hurt, especially on a day like this. ]
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[ Don't make promises you can't keep. He can keep that one, right? He'd have to be forced to break it. Like literally forced someone ripping him away horribly, he thinks.]
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[ Finally she lets go. Somewhat reluctantly, but they are just -- standing on a sidewalk, so. She pulls away from him and curls her arm through his again. ]
Can we just -- go crash? Please? Maybe watch a really bad movie and do nothing for a while?
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Yeah. We can. I mean. ...Figure out where to do that. [ They had them at hotels? He hasn't even checked that out. It was overwhelming at the time. ]
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