semi-closed log

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

WHAT: mental breakdowns and existential crises
WHO: Koizumi and those who notice his sudden absence
WHEN: between 3/7 and 3/14
WHERE: Koizumi's apartment
WARNINGS: triggering and content warnings for: depression, thoughts of suicide, mental breakdown. will edit with any further warnings.

Haruhi has been the center of Koizumi's life for a long time. She's been at the very core of his world and his identity for more than five years - for an 18 year old, that might as well be forever. She is everything to him. His friend, his first and greatest love, his literal God. She grants him the powers that make him an esper, make him special. Even if nobody knows, he has saved the world many times - and that means more to him than he can ever explain. She is a part of who he is.

Well. Was. That's gone now.

...She's gone.

Koizumi lays on his bed, trying to come to grips with it. He fluctuates between sorrow and madness and and denial and despair. Days pass, and the shadows climb the wall, only to vanish once again. He doesn't eat, and can't tell the difference between sleeping and waking anymore. It doesn't seem important, though sometimes he forgets why.

He gets messages, but he can't summon the will to respond to them.

...Anything would be better than this. He could suffer through anything, the cruelest torture, if only Kyon and Haruhi were here.

They're not. His mind wanders to his gun - at least that ending would be quick. But no, his gun was taken away when he lost his job. He's absolutely powerless - all he can do is lay there in his own personal hell, and hope for the darkness to consume him.

Comments

[watersacrificed]

When Aqua heard the news of Kyon and Haruhi's departure she knew she had to see Koizumi. While she didn't know the extent of how deep Koizumi's relationship was to both of them, she knew how heart wrenching it was. Both friends torn away from you, leaving you with nothing but memories, a sense of emptiness and the need to disappear. She was worried for Koizumi's health, mentally and physically.

The bluenette approached his apartment door and knocked lightly. She waited outside, but there was no reply. Aqua reached out to the doorknob and gave it a slight turn. It surprised her to know the door was unlocked. Letting out a soft sigh she quietly entered his home then locked the door. She made sure her steps were soft as she walked down the hallway to his room. Opening she saw him lying there, helpless and broken. The sight of it made her heart break, but what could she do?

The magic she had wasn't strong enough to bring Kyon or Haruhi back to New Moore. Nor did she have the means to jump from one world to the next to take Koizumi home. There was nothing she could do to fix things. The only thing she could really do was be there for him. Bowing her head, she moved to his bed, silently climbing in. She placed her arm around his side and held him close.

"..I'm so sorry."

[coimiceoir]

Aisling has been deeply connected with the forest recently, as the spring rash of new babies are born but among all the triumph and pleasure and family came a singular douse of icy despair from the heart of the city. Instantly ceasing what she was doing, she appears quickly at the top of the nearest tree, gazing out toward the buildings as if she could see through them. She doesn't have as strong a connection to Koizumi, but such a piercing sense of grief is extremely clear. She hesitates, feeling his shock abate. Perhaps he needs some time to come to grips with whatever that situation is.

When he continues to linger as a dark spot on the edges of her awareness, however, it preys on her. Distracts her. Worries her. Two days pass before she gives in to her inquisitive nature and she sets out to visit.

The moon is beginning to rise and a cool breeze presses against her shoulders as she slips up the side of the building and locates the window of the apartment she's looking for. Perching lightly on the sill, she taps on the window pane.

[librariansheart]

Sheska worries at her thumbnail the whole way to Koizumi and Sirius' apartment, an enormous basket of food on her arm, ready to coax him into eating something. He hadn't turned up at the office two days running, and then Chief Beifong... She should have realized. Should have come sooner. She seems to say that an awful lot when it comes to him. That has to change.

Still, she hesitates, her hand hovering over the door. He obviously wants to be left alone. .....But she is not going to stand idly by if he needs her. She knocks. Nothing. Her anxiety heightens and she knocks again. Still nothing. "Koizumi? I-it's Sheska... Are you there?"

The silence chews its way along her nerves and she tries the door, sure it will be locked. It swings open and she catches her breath. This isn't right. Slipping inside, she shuts the door, calling his name softly. The click of the lock as she shuts the door is too loud in this waiting quiet, and she nearly jumps. A quick check of the living room and kitchen, where she leaves her basket, confirms that he's not in the outer rooms, which leaves only the bedrooms.

One is closed, the other door cracked, and she checks that one first. A light touch sets it swinging a little wider and her heart dropped. "Koizumi!" She's across the room in a moment, on her knees next to the bed. Laying her hands on his face, she tries to catch his eyes. "Koizumi! Oh please no. Koizumi, please, look at me!"

[redwinekindofgirl]

She was surprised to try the door and find it open. Not necessarily because of the open door itself but because, from her small knowledge of Koizumi, she hadn't expected it to be so easy. Julie moved into the apartment quietly, listening for any sign of the occupants.

The reason she was there? Well, she hadn't seen Koizumi for long enough that she was becoming concerned over his whereabouts, and when texting him had yielded no results she'd decided (after some thought) on paying a visit.

Julie found an empty room first, then one with the door closed. One ear pressed to it, she knocked.

"Koizumi?" He had to be in there, right? "It's Julie. Can I come in?"