Employment is fun.

[roseate]

They're letting me do the cakes.
Merry arbitrary stand-in troll antibirthday, Mr. Vantas.

Comments

[riseup]

holy shit.
you are really good at that, rose!
really good in the scariest way possible.
i'm sure he will... something it.

[roseate]

If it makes him feel any better,
I sort of really needed an excuse.

[riseup]

an excuse to make a grimcake?

[roseate]

Grimcake?
I'm offended

[riseup]

tentacake?

[roseate]

Much better.

[ihateyouetc]

OH FUCK
WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT????

[roseate]

It's saying hello.

[ihateyouetc]

OK FIRST OF ALL FUCK YOU
IT'S STILL NOT MY WRIGGLING DAY
SO THERE WAS NO REASON FOR YOU TO "CONJURE" THAT
OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DID TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THAT.

[notvictorious]

So when is your birthday?

[riseup]

*molting day.

[notvictorious]

No way.

[riseup]

yes way.
so much yes way.

[notvictorious]

The cold medicine is affecting your brain.

[riseup]

fine, fine.
you caught me.
it's his hatching day.

[riseup]

every year he spins a cocoon and hibernates for the whole day.
when he hatches, he is the same asshole karkat.
just a little shinier.

[notvictorious]

Seriously?

[riseup]

why would i lie about something like that?
it was super gross to watch, let me tell you.

[notvictorious]

I'd bet. I mean.. I guess I'm not that surprised? I saw them as little baby troll bug things so.

mission accomplished

[riseup]

apparently on their 18th hatching day, they sprout wings and become real trolls.

[notvictorious]

What?? You're pranking me, aren't you?

[riseup]

no way!!!
i saw the gross cocoon hatching and everything.
i am sharing the terror.

[notvictorious]

Really?

[riseup]

yes, absolutely.

[ihateyouetc]

AND SECOND OF ALL
ACTUALLY, MOST OF ALL
FUCK THAT THING

[roseate]

It's buttercream.

[ihateyouetc]

WHO GIVES A SHIT
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HUMANS EXPECT
ACTUALLY, THAT'S A LIE!
I SOMEWHAT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT GIVEN WHAT I'VE SEEN OF JOHN'S EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING LIFE
HOWEVER, I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND GIVE HUMANITY ONE SINGULAR POINT OF CREDIT
WHICH IS I AM PRETTY FUCKING SURE EVERY HUMAN "BIRTH DAY" ISN'T LIKE A "HUMAN JOHN EGBERT BIRTH DAY"
ANYWAY, THE POINT IS I'M NOT FUCKING EATING THAT.

[riseup]

no, mine was pretty different.
i can give you a list of all the reasons why it was different.
it starts with too many cakes and ends with an apocalypse.

[riseup]

but for yours, we have the appropriate number of cakes!
also presents.
so it's pretty normal.

[allthezpms]

That is quite creepy and thus, pretty brilliant.

[roseate]

Thank you. I did try.

[retroversion]

ahahaha
its perfect

[roseate]

I'm glad my dedication hasn't gone wholly unappreciated.

[retroversion]

what
are you kidding
i bet thats what every troll babys ever wanted for his birthday

[notjohnsmith]

... do you take commissions?

[oftpartitioned]

ew

[fuckincakewake]

[fuckincakewake]

ROSIE ITS SO
PERFECTT
u are so talanested
there is nothing my bb cant do

[ontheropes]

Wow, I didn't know you could make cakes do that.

[la_rose_revolutionnaire]

What... is that? Is that a cake?

[clockrocket]

holy christ

[clockrocket]

[clockrocket]

i mean
yeah this is obviously a metaphor for what you wish your horrorterror buddies were doing to vantas' nethertrollregions
or something like that

[clockrocket]

and that piping around the bottom looks like tiny tiny turds.

[clockrocket]

...can I have some