[Accidental Audio][Forward-dated to the 29th/post-event]

[brotimaeus]

[[ooc: Because things are fucked up enough for him without his little bro being a sword]]

---

[He's not running, but his footsteps are quick, breathing heavy and not panicked, not panicked, because Bro Strider doesn't panic, not even when he wakes up in a hospital bed with the last memories he has still fresh in his mind being told by someone who sounds too calm that he's fictional. Or was.

Under his breath, he's talking to himself.]

Okay, okay, just. Calm down. Take it easy, Bro. This ain't the most fucked up thing you ever got yourself into, just.. Okay. Priorities. One. Find out where the fuck I am and what the hell is really goin' on here 'cause I ain't down with all this 'you ain't real' bullshit.

Two. Two.. find a fuckin' bar.

[His footsteps pause, then resume. The audio cuts off.]

Comments

[callbacks]

die

[thneed]

Can we not follow tradition?

what he said

[riseup]

 

that is NOT OKAY

[thneed]

...

[riseup]

don't worry, that only happens on my birthday.
no cake please.

[thneed]

Okay.
No cake.

[callbacks]

excuse me john some of us dont have weird brain problems and would like some fucking birthday cake

[riseup]

i meant for my birthday!
calm down, dude.
i'm sure rose has a really horrible cake planned for you.
not that i know anything about it, because i don't.

[callbacks]

oh god
never mind i dont want cake anymore

[thneed]

Can she just not bake or is it because she makes it out of your corpses?

sorry once-ler

[riseup]

i hope it isn't made out of our corpses, then we would have to kiss them.
again.

[roseate]

My cakes are incomparable.

[thneed]

You're joking, right?

[callbacks]

well try to keep the fatalities to a minimum this year
anyway its jades on the first so probably her au grandpas too
and then me and davesprite and both bros on the third
and mom and rose on the fourth as far as i know

[thneed]

I don't understand you people.
I don't.

Okay. So... Jake first, assuming he's a grandpa?
You, the bird, and Dirk and...the new guy are Monday.
Roxy and Rose. Tuesday...

Did you want Monday off?

[callbacks]

oh
would that be ok i know its kind of short notice and ive got nothing but time

[thneed]

It's okay. I can't work someone on their birthday.
Especially if there's a high chance of death for some reason.

[callbacks]

youre a gentleman and a scholar
im like eighty nine percent sure none of us will bite it between now and christmas so dont think about it too much

[thneed]

Thank you.

But why?

[callbacks]

what
dying
usually because we get murdered but its been pretty quiet lately

[encore_dueling]

Excuse you who are you calling a grandpa?!

[thneed]

What? Dave said you were an au grandpa of Jade.

Look, I'm really confused at this. Grandpas are really cool people so you should just accept the title.

[encore_dueling]

*Facepalm*
Of course hed say that.
Im almost sixteen that does not make me a grandfather!

[thneed]

Was he making that up?
I don't know how your ages work. There's time travel involved.

[encore_dueling]

I think hes talking about someone else from jades universe.
Maybe in her universe im ninety but here and now and in my universe im definitely not that old!