[drunk texting]

[brotimaeus]

fcking christmas.
hey you know somethign.
my littleb ro who kinda loosks like me a bit.
lucky fucker.
the first time he tired to use a sowrd it got stusck in th cielgng.
ceilign.
becuas he let go.
i was so fucking proud.

i found him on top of teh tree one year.
pretending to be an angel he said.
bullshit.
he wasfucking stuck up htere.
made the cutest motherufkcing angel you ever did see.

couldnst daveproof shit in that aprtment.
kid got into everuthing.
one time he ttied to eat a live golfdfish because i forgot to feed him.
dont worry the fish was fine.
i thnkk.

haha.
shit.

Comments

omg this is great already

[brotimaeus]

yeh.
i gt that part asshole.
but givwn the contekxt its a fuckign wird thing to say.

x: ceebs + homestuck is everything i have ever wanted

[cruciverbalist]

W/E
I 2 H8 XMAS SO
I CAN SYMPATHIZE W/XCESSIVE DRINKING

fffh.

[brotimaeus]

wow your tuping is fucking awful.

[cruciverbalist]

HYPOCRITE.

[brotimaeus]

im drink.
drunk.

whats your excuse.

[cruciverbalist]

IM 10.

[ Joan would say. ]

[brotimaeus]

liar.

[cruciverbalist]

HDY NO?

[brotimaeus]

you just tld me.
hahaha.

[cruciverbalist]

PLZ TRY AGAIN.

he doesn't actually know who he's talking to obvs I just thought it would be funny 8D

[brotimaeus]

ok bro.
how bout tis.
i can take the hating cristmas.
some kids do.
but thats half am minus pointo n you there.
and then saying u know all baout exseccive dirnking.
i kno eveyr kid gets a fgucking guardian here.
so either you got a shitty one, or your lying.
your mive sherlock.

perfect

[cruciverbalist]

[ Minor break in horrible spelling. ] [ TEXT 1 ] YOUR NAME IS BRO STRIDER
[ TEXT 2 ] YOU HAVE A BROTHER DAVE
[ TEXT 3 ] YOU JUST TURNED 33
[ TEXT 4 ] YOU FREQUENTLY SPEAK TO ANITA BLAKE AND SOME PERSONIFICATION OF PRUSSIA

[ TEXT 5 ] AS4ME, MY GUARDIANS WERE HORRIBLE TY 4 THE PTSD TRIGGER JERK.

[ about a half a minute later ]

[ TEXT 6 ] PS. I AM SHERLOCK.

[ TEXT 7 ] :)

Re: perfect

[brotimaeus]

not impressd bro.
anyone could know those things.

wait wat.
what.
youre not doig the naem any credit.

perfect

[cruciverbalist]

I'M JUST GETTING STARTED.

CONTINUE?

[brotimaeus]

knock yourself out.

[cruciverbalist]

1 HOUR.

[brotimaeus]

fine.
but i make no guarentees of bein alwake when you getback.

[cruciverbalist]

[ In all seriousness: ] Drink water.

[brotimaeus]

youre not my mom.

[cruciverbalist]

do it anyway.

[brotimaeus]

no.

[cruciverbalist]

Y×∞²

[brotimaeus]

56 minutes.