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[alwaysimpure]

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm Sirius, one of the two lovely wizards around here. Next month is the big opening of our magic shop, but today I speak on behalf of something, someone else.

See this lovely lady?

[He turns the device until it shows the moving photograph of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, how she's smiling and waving rather untypically at the camera.]



She currently doesn't have a date for New Year's Eve! It's bad enough to spend Christmas alone or, well, in the company of a drunkenly depressed friend with an odd sense of humour, but how can a gorgeous woman like that be alone for New Year's?

It'd be a crime, I'm sure you agree. She is called Anita, she can probably kick your arse the way she'll kick mine if she catches me for this, she is, as you can see, absolutely gorgeous. Add wit and charm to that and anyone who's not snatched up yet should be going after her!

However, needless to say, there are some requirements. For one, she only wants males. I'm sorry, ladies, I've been trying to convince her! For another, obviously you should be good-looking and charming and witty yourself.

She might go for the bad boys, just a bit, but doesn't everyone?

Come on, blokes, tell me if you're interested and if you meet my approval, I might be able to help set something up.

[OOC: ...marauder is doing marauding things, I suppose. Needless to say, Anita doesn't know he's doing this. That's what makes it fun.]

Comments

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[Koizumi's trying so hard not to crack up right now. He's mostly failing.]

So, how do you plan on spending your final day on Earth?

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

Such little confidence!

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Oh, I've plenty of confidence...

That Anita will kill you when she sees this.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

I'm going to bring her some coffee, actually.

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Ah, I see. A reasonable substitute for your life. I should have expected as much.

[Somehow he says it with a straight face, nodding as if he were completely serious.]

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

I know how to bargain.

[He's grinning, not hiding his amusement.]

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Well, let me know how that turns out for you.

[He's grinning as well, but he's still resisting straight out laughing uproariously at this. He did value his own life, after all.

... Or at least the amount it would take him to buy an equivalent amount of coffee.]

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

She said she'll only hit me twice.

So, are you interested?

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[He raises his hands in front of him, as if defending himself.]

Ah, no thank you. While I can't say that I would mind going out with her, if I decided to, I am capable of asking her myself.

[He considers for a moment.] And all things considered, if she were interested, I think she'd be more likely to ask me than I her.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

That's true, mate, but it might help you if you meet my approval.

Because if you do go out with her and ever hurt her, I'm breaking your legs and hexing them on backwards.

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

She's perfectly capable of defending her own honor.

[A pause, and then, amused -]

Besides, you'd have to get to me before I did. And that would be unlikely.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

I know she is. She'd do the same for me though, I figure.

And why's that?

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[Does he need to spell it out for you, Sirius?]

Because of what my reaction would be if I ever hurt her.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

[Yes, yes, he does.]

Which would be running for the hills?

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Ah - no, I was thinking something a little closer to what your reaction was going to be.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

Let's just agree on you not hurting her.

[Video]

[animator]

See, you understand me. Thank you.

[Video]

[alwaysimpure]

You can ask him out, I like him.

If you want to.

[Video]

[animator]

I'm not making any decisions yet, I still have several days before New Year's, thank you very much.

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

[He inclines his head in acknowledgement, though he's still extremely amused by this whole thing.]

Of course. Going through Sirius for something like this would be far more egregious than holding a door open for you. And I'm smart enough not to make that mistake either.

[Oh god, he shouldn't, but -] I suppose my preservation instinct is simply too strong.

[Video]

[animator]

[She smirks.]

That's a good thing. It means you'll keep yourself alive a lot longer than some people.

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

That much is eminently obvious.

[His smirk is just as wide, and probably much more amused.]

[Video]

[animator]

This whole thing is just going to be a huge trainwreck, I'm pretty sure.

[Video]

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

I was a little surprised when I heard you had decided to spare his life. [He gives a small shrug.]

Then again, he bought you coffee. From what I've observed, that's probably a fair trade on his life. Especially given how long it's bound to last, at this rate.

[He is so amused right now.]

[Video]

[animator]

Yes, coffee, and I get to hit him twice. Fair trade.

He's cheating, though. He knows damn well I'm easily bought with coffee.