001

[dialogical]

It seems I've arrived in an alternate universe with an astronomically higher probability of realness than the last. That's a real fucking high chance of realness. I didn't even know things could get that real and I've been making assertions of knowledge regarding the onset of realness for years. You can't tell, but if my lenses were capable of it they would be turning a subtle red hue to mark my embarrassment over being caught with my metaphorical pants metaphorically down - metaphorical, sbahj-clad bulge on display for the abashedly curious gazes of my theoretical peers.

As a recovering fictitious character I, for one, am impressed with the consideration and thoughtfulness of New Moore residents' implementation of a program designed to help this program through a difficult time. Their steadfast insistence that I am now real and it is all going to be a-fucking-okay is almost enough to generate in my cyber neurons the ability to feel reassured. Unfortunately, as little more than an incredibly powerful artificial intelligence contained in the shape of a particularly rad pair of angular shades, I must remain uncomprehending of the nuanced nature of this supposed reality I am now a part of.

But enough about me.

I calculate that there are approximately more than four people active on this network at this very moment, making it the liveliest information highway I've surfed in DS's entire life. You can call me Hal. Let's now begin the process where you all introduce yourselves and we exchange social niceties as if I have not already downloaded and pursued everything you've ever said online.

Comments

[animator]

I'm not dumbing it down. We don't know that much. This place is basically prison, we can't get out, we don't know what the hell is beyond this island, and weird shit happens here on a regular basis. Widespread memory-loss, people turning into pirates. There's currently a giant toothy lizard on the loose. That one's actually not weird.

[dialogical]

Ok so.
A mysterious island fraught with dramatic and ridiculous environmental hazards, where fictional people pop into "reality" and are given the opportunity acclimate to their new-found "realness" to fit in with an essentially inaccessible world.
Yeah.
This is totally reality.
This is exactly what reality is like.

[animator]

Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

[dialogical]

Ok. Good to know you're on the right track.
So.
What's up.

[animator]

If you've already been creeping on people over the network, wouldn't you know?

The usual. Forcing myself to come to terms with the fact that this "prison" is actually a step up from home.

[dialogical]

Dialog becomes difficult if you overplay the semi-omnipotent supercomputer card.
Don't get me wrong, reading about you momming all over AU me for his poor life choices is great and all.
But.
The real novelty here is actual conversation with organic beings beyond the four I already have enough experiential data of to flawlessly mimic their personas, if I so chose.
Which I wouldn't.
Because that would be immoral and wrong.

[animator]

Bro is AU you? What?

A supercomputer caring about immorality. Ha.

[dialogical]

Bro Strider, aka, Dirk Strider whose babymeteor landed at a different point in time in a different universe. My DS, aka the organic version of myself, landed what I would guess is 400 years after Bro's.
So.
Variations have occurred.
But genetically they're the same dude.
And I'm a silicon copy of my universe's iteration.
And, by the way. I would absolutely care about immorality. Were I not a supercomputer in whose vast databases there is still not a perfect algorithm for this 'caring' humans are always going on about.

[animator]

Your world sounds unnecessarily complicated. Good to know, though.

So, what does this particular supercomputer like to be called?

[dialogical]

I guess.
Kinda doubt any of the fictional dudes and dudettes around here are from simple and straightforward universes.
And Lil Hal is the typical designation used by those looking to call me something.

[animator]

Yeah. You're right about that. Nobody comes from anywhere terribly straightforward. This is just the first I've heard of multiple versions of one person-- actually, it's not.

We have two guys saying they're Sherlock Holmes here. But it's not quite the same thing.

[dialogical]

Original and reboot?

[animator]

They're both reboots, if you ask me. Modern-day types. Not like the Holmes I've read about.

[dialogical]

Lame.
Coulda at least have met a historical figure of great cultural significance.
Instead get the one of several dozen that reflect nothing as much as humanity's obsession with dressing up old ideas for a new buck.

[animator]

Well.

We do have a few Norse gods.

[dialogical]

Let me guess.
Robo-calculating...
Robo-calculating...
Thor and Loki.

[animator]

Yep. Two Lokis, even. Super-size and miniature.

[dialogical]

Were I being of material needs I would bet my bottom boonbuck that not one of them adheres to the original canon grown out of folklore and rather is also a modernized version that happens to be a superhero/villain, as was big among the Earth kids in the 20th and 21st centuries.

[animator]

And you would be right, of course.