[text]

[exbloodjunkie]

I want a dog.
Is that too much to as for? It's all I ever wanted.
I had one before, very briefly. His name was Bones. I got him when I ran away and ended up getting this nice little setup in Flagstaff. For the first time ever I was completely free to do whatever I wanted. It only lasted for two weeks though.

Seriously though. I really want a dog.

_{[And then Sam has a moment of why did I even say any of that?]}

Comments

[exbloodjunkie]

Unfortunately, yeah. We have to find a way to stop him because if we don't Earth will be destroyed, but all of the angels want the final showdown to happen between Michael and Lucifer. For them to do that, they need their vessels to possess. That would be my brother and me.

There's never been anything normal about my life. Or about me. I'm just so tired of being a freak and doing more harm than good.

_{[WHY IS HE SAYING THIS...]}

[metamorphosing]

[Yeah, this is a lot of information. It's almost like he can't help himself. And she'd be disbelieving, except for everyone everywhere seems to be telling the truth today. More truth than they'd really like to.]

I don't think you're a freak. You're not the only one who's life has been different. We're all unique in our own ways. You shouldn't be ashamed of that, Sam. It's a part of who you are.

... they want you to fight your brother? Going against family... it's not easy.

[exbloodjunkie]

_{[He wishes he wasn't telling her all of these things. They're things he doesn't even like to admit to himself, but they're there now and quickly rising to the surface.]}

But I feel like one, yanno? I never wanted this to be a part of my life. It's like I never had a choice to begin with. This was all decided before I was even conceivable. And growing up, all I wanted was to be normal. To go to a school for more than a couple months at a time. I ended up always being at odds with Dad. It got so bad. Then I got into college and we didn't talk at all.

Some things were my choices, but I never asked for most of this. Family's the most important thing but I don't have many relatives left. There's Dean and Bobby. Everyone else I ever loved is gone now. My parents, Jess... _{[At least he doesn't know about the other people who died, too. Ellen and Jo. That would make it that much worse.]}

I've got to find a way to stop it, to fight back. I can't say yes. I can't kill my brother, Raven. Or, more technically, let Lucifer. While he's in my body. At least it's not going on here, and maybe it's all fiction, but that doesn't make it any less real.

[metamorphosing]

It's real to you. That's what matters. No matter what they say about us being fictional, whether that's true or not, our problems are all very real to us. It's real to you, and that makes it important.

I know how hard it is to be asked to turn against your family. It's not the same, it's not as dire, but I had a hard choice to make concerning my own brother. Nobody asked me to kill him, but it wasn't easy all the same. I can only imagine how much pain it must be causing you, Sam... but you'll find a way to fight back.

You're better than that. Better than him. Your brother is more important to you than all of this higher power stuff, and that's why you'll be able to beat it. I can tell. You're strong enough to fight back, if you have to.

And you're not a freak. You're not. I always thought I was a freak, too, but I learned better. I had a friend, he was determined that the world would always see him as a freak, that he would never be accepted. I'll tell you the same thing I told him: you're beautiful, Sam. You're perfect. Don't change. There's nothing wrong with you.

[exbloodjunkie]

_{[Sam is just quiet for the longest moment. It's always good when someone gets it, but considering just how painfully honest Sam's had to be, it makes it that much more meaningful.]}

Thanks, Raven. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you knew to say exactly what I needed to hear.

[metamorphosing]

My brother is the mind-reader, but I still see people pretty well. I see you. And I know how you feel. We're more alike than you know.